1) As I get older, I notice that I care less and less about women catching me looking at their breasts. I admit this, but this weekend I could have been arrested for my behavior as I walked around Soho eyeing up every girl that passed by, regardless of race, age, size, or handicap. Not one of my finest moments.

2) A question posed by my roommate Brian last night: “Am I committing a crime if I sit by the window and masturbate while looking at the girl in the next building?” [the girl in the building across from us is pretty hot and always walks around half-naked].

My other roommate Ben and I couldn’t say for sure. It’s not a Peeping Tom thing, because Brian would be in his own home. But it has to violate some sort of indecency law or something.

I’m not a lawyer.

3) Two jokes I got via email:

Q: What were the three worst years of George Bush’s life?
A: Fifth grade.

Q: What are they going to do if Michael Jackson molests another little boy?
A: Give him his own parish.

Love that second one.

It’s supposed to be 87 degrees today? Fucking 87? I’m telling you, I need to have a spring season. If my body does not have time to adjust to the increase in temperature, bad things will happen. I can not stress this enough. Pretty soon I will only be travelling by night only and having to carry around extra t-shirts so that I can change every forty-five minutes. Damn it.