Articles Archive for 9 June 2004
In a recent interview featuring Larry Bird, Magic “Why Can’t I Just Go Away?” Johnson, Carmelo Anthony, and Lebron James airing this Thursday at 7pm on ESPN, Larry is quoted on ESPN.com as saying:
Did I miss something? Is it Racism & Sports Week? What’s next – Al Michaels going off during the NBA Finals about how the Holocaust never really happened and the Mexicans are stealing US jobs and women? Good lord.
For Bill Parcells to call sneak plays “Jap” plays is one thing, because Parcells is at heart a scumbag.
But to have Larry Bird, an idol to millions of white kids who dreamed of playing basketball, saying such strange things…well, I don’t know how I feel about it. And the whole thing at the end, with Magic saying, “Disrespect”, which basically translates to, “Yes, I agree that white people are far inferior athletes.”
I am stumped. Confused, sad, hungry, with half a chubby.
Needless to say, everyone should take cover, because a shit storm’s coming through town.
And I promise to be all over it, as long as we understand “all over it” to mean “making random, inappropriate remarks and asserting illogical conclusions about a sensitive and divisive issue.”
“I think it’s good for a fan base, because, as we all know, the majority of the fans are white America,” Bird said. “And if you just had a couple of white guys in there, you might get them a little excited. But it is a black man’s game, and it will be forever. I mean, the greatest athletes in the world are African-American.”
Bird was just warming up.
“The one thing that always bothered me when I played in the NBA was I really got irritated when they put a white guy on me,” Bird said. “I still don’t understand why. A white guy would come out (and) I would always ask him: ‘What, do you have a problem with your coach? Did your coach do this to you?’ And he’d go, ‘No,’ and I’d say, ‘Come on, you got a white guy coming out here to guard me; you got no chance.’ For some reason, that always bothered me when I was playing against a white guy.”
“Disrespect,” Magic said.
Said Bird: “Yeah, disrespect.”
Did I miss something? Is it Racism & Sports Week? What’s next – Al Michaels going off during the NBA Finals about how the Holocaust never really happened and the Mexicans are stealing US jobs and women? Good lord.
For Bill Parcells to call sneak plays “Jap” plays is one thing, because Parcells is at heart a scumbag.
But to have Larry Bird, an idol to millions of white kids who dreamed of playing basketball, saying such strange things…well, I don’t know how I feel about it. And the whole thing at the end, with Magic saying, “Disrespect”, which basically translates to, “Yes, I agree that white people are far inferior athletes.”
I am stumped. Confused, sad, hungry, with half a chubby.
Needless to say, everyone should take cover, because a shit storm’s coming through town.
And I promise to be all over it, as long as we understand “all over it” to mean “making random, inappropriate remarks and asserting illogical conclusions about a sensitive and divisive issue.”
My friend Mal sent me a great response to my request for new music. After listing a bunch of stuff for me to check out, he wrote:
I particularly like “Pontius Pilate and the Nail Driving Five”, because I was in a band in college called “We Want Barrabas!”, an alt-alt trio that featured me on bass and harmonica, and two other harmonicas players. We were considered pioneers of the alt-alt movement, as our only lyrics were racials slurs interspersed with “god damn it” and one time I exposed myself on stage (though not on purpose – if someone ever offers you a toke of a pipe and they have more tattoos than teeth, DON’T TAKE IT).
Just thinking this would be good for Don Fiedler and Co’s project.
names of bands that dont yet exist:
- pontius pilate and the nail driving five;
- the gordie howe overture;
- the fuck shoes;
- lean elan;
- your dad’s cunt;
- stop worrying about your drapes
names of law firms that may or may not exist:
- Sakstein, Sakstein, Sakstein, Sakstein & Lee;
- Fittery, Haebecker, Odwudinjo and Craswell;
- Butts, Butts, Early, Tuggle & Butts;
- Hornsby, Booblewitz, Hornsby & Blackwell;
- Hightower, Mahoney & Tackleberry PC;
- Venkman, Stanz, Spengler and Zeddemore, LLC.
I particularly like “Pontius Pilate and the Nail Driving Five”, because I was in a band in college called “We Want Barrabas!”, an alt-alt trio that featured me on bass and harmonica, and two other harmonicas players. We were considered pioneers of the alt-alt movement, as our only lyrics were racials slurs interspersed with “god damn it” and one time I exposed myself on stage (though not on purpose – if someone ever offers you a toke of a pipe and they have more tattoos than teeth, DON’T TAKE IT).
Just thinking this would be good for Don Fiedler and Co’s project.