I know, I stink. You’ve been checking my site, and I haven’t been holding up my end of the bargain. I don’t mean to make excuses, but yesterday was very busy, and we had those technical difficulties today (maybe you could tell because I posted the same entry ten times), and now I’m so sad, I just want to go home and cry (and masturbate).

But I promise, I’ll make it up to you. Tomorrow, there will be such glorious posts, you won’t even know what to do with yourself. Seriously, you’ll probably get so excited, you’ll commit a crime.

And anyone who knows me knows that I don’t make promises I can’t keep. Well, that’s not true; I make promises I can’t keep all the time.

But this time is different. I promise I’m going to be a better man, starting tomorrow.

Trust me.

(And I don’t mean that in the “Trust me – I’m sterile, so we don’t need to wear a condom” type of way)

“What the fuck? I will fucking strangle you, asshole!” says commuter Jason Mulgrew

When I woke up this morning, it was raining. When I got to the subway, I learned that this apparently “super” rain somehow managed to destroy the entire NYC transit system.

I am so pissed off right now, I don’t know where to begin. Because of problems from the rain, it took me two hours to get into work this morning. It normally takes 45 minutes.

My biggest question is: why? Did I miss something? Did a hurricane hit the greater New York area last night? It wasn’t even raining that hard when I woke up, and it’s since stopped. So what happened to essentially bring mass transit to a halt in the largest city in the US?

Not only was the commute long, but the trains were packed, and people were very, very angry. I overheard one guy say, “This is the worst day of commuting I’ve had in my twelve years of living in New York City.” This means something, especially since this city has survived a blackout and one of the biggest terrorist attacks in history. At one station, I tried to switch trains, hoping another subway line would be better. I found that not only was the platform packed with people, but the stairways leading to the platform were packed as well. Unbelievable.

I never thought I’d look at another human being and think, “So help me god, if you don’t let me on this train, I will murder you with my bare hands and fucking eat you right here in front of all these people.” I really think this should be a part of training for US Special Forces. Just before going into battle, they should load about 60 on them onto a subway car, make it go four stops (a half mile) in 45 minutes, all the while have people pushing, shoving, and grunting as they move in and out of the car. Then, let them out of the car, give them guns, and just let them go out. We would have the greatest empire the world has ever seen if we did this.

I’m still at a loss. I don’t know if the trains are allergic to rain, or they’re made of suede, or whatever, because they couldn’t function properly in what seemed to be standard rainfall.

At any rate, my morning is ruined. I was supposed to be here at 9. I got here at 10:35.

I dare anyone to come into my office and ask me for something. Because I will attack. And you don’t want that.

[FYI: And now blogger is having techinical difficulties. I've been trying to post this since about 10:50, and it ain't working. Real fucking sweet. Worst day ever.]