I have to say, February 2006 was easily one of the most eventful and traumatic months of my life.  Good lord.  Some of the stuff that happened to me I couldn’t even write here, lest I betray some confidences, particularly the confidence of my friend John Francis Edwards, who came out of the closet and after years of speculation announced that he is a partially homosexual.  So now I have two bisexual people in my life, John and my brother.  Maybe I should set them up.  Though my brother is way too good-looking for John.  Although John does have a good job… 

Anyway, here is a list of 20 random things that happened to me this past month.  One of them is a lie.  See if you can guess which one it is (answer at bottom).  In February 2005, I:

- went to Seattle for the first time, bringing my losing jinx there
- drove 1150 miles down the West Coast and consumed more Diet Cokes in three days than I did in all of 2005 
- went to LA to feel fucking spectacular and walk around in 85 degree weather
- had the worst travel experience of my life, flying from LA to Atlanta, then Atlanta to Philly, then training it from Philly to NYC – all in under 24 hours  
- was defrauded out of $1000 by a "reputable" company
- threatened or was threatened with legal action three times (once with Enterprise, twice with [CONFIDENTIAL MATERIAL REDACTED])
- returned full-time to work after 4.5 months off, which nearly sent me into shock 
- opened a new much-improved and fucking spectacular website
- had three near-nervous breakdowns
- cried once
- made love to six women
- spent a whopping $68 on a single cab ride
- learned once again that I am capable of hatred like a mother fucker
- (Site Guy Brendan learned this too, after spending approximately 15 hours on the phone with me in three days) 
- wrote a best man’s speech (most of it, at least)
- began preparations for the Greatest Bachelor Party Man Has Ever Seen
- learned WAY too much about my family and family history
- was told that, in retrospect, my moustache was "sexy" and was asked to bring it back (no dice)
- started apartment hunting and narrowed my search down to a one-bedroom in the LES, East Village or Alphabet City
- I’m sorry, but I can’t think of a 20th thing

All I can say is, thank God it’s over.  Here’s hoping that March is a little better and less busy, but I don’t foresee how anything good is going to come out of March, typically a terrible, terrible month. 

[The lie: "made love to six women."  It was actually zero women and a kid.  I don't recall the gender of the kid.]