the truth about helpwinthisbet (the threesome site)
27 April 2006
I have received this link about thirty times, both from friends and readers, since I got into work this morning.
But there’s a problem: this is a scam. Or at least, it’s not genuine. You see, the proprietor of this website is repeating himself. Let me explain.
Part of my responsibility of being an Internet Famous Person is that I get probably 200 emails a week that just deal with different links. It is my duty to click on these links, no matter how stupid they might be or how much time they might waste, in order to give you, the reader, anything that I think might excite you. And I mean that sexually and otherwise.
Over a month ago, I started getting the above link about a guy who made a bet with his girlfriend that stated if he could get two million hits on his crappy website, she’d have a threesome with him. I clicked through, thought it was a good idea, and was going to post about it, but then I didn’t need to – the guy got his two million hits. Actually, he got his two million hits, if I’m not mistaken, in about three weeks. The first day I saw it he was at about one million, a few days later, he was at three million. He updated his progress with little comments at the bottom of the page, writing in to congratulate readers (and himself) at watershed numbers and thanking everyone for their support. The site even had a message board, where women were vying to be the third party in the threesome, and men (and women) were commenting on their worthiness.
Then like I said, just this morning, I’ve already received this link over thirty times – again. I expected, when I clicked through, to see the dude at ten million hits and working on an orgy or something involving himself, his girlfriend, a donkey, and some PVC piping.
Instead, he’s basically started over. He’s reset the counter to zero and is using the same gimmick again, deleting all references to the past incarnation of the site. The picture of the girlfriend is even different (last time, she was a brunette). And once again, he’s racing toward two million hits, which he will probably have in two days (he’s gotten about 300,000 in the three hours since I first checked today).
I can only speculate why he’s doing this, but essentially, he can keep reinventing this gimmick and get his two million hits every two weeks or so. The internet is a big and wonderful place and has the power to parlay a catchy gimmick like this or someone with marginal talent into fame and fortune (I think I have a little bit of expertise in this area). I imagine this guy will have a book deal in the next two months, a development deal in four, and get his first coked-up high-priced hooker blowjob in six (he’ll be getting the cheaper version any minute now). Good for him.
[Or some copycat has set this up. I have no idea. I really shouldn't speak about this at all, since I know nothing about website design, internet marketing, or technology in general.]
But if you are seeing this for the first time today, or are passing it on to your friends, know that it is old news. And most importantly, stop passing it on to me. I have seen it, I had seen it, and I no longer want to see it. Thank you.
And besides, you jagoffs should be passing on my site anyway. I gots to get paid, son.
[And what if, just hypothetically, someone ran a website that got just under twenty million hits a year? If two million is a good for a threesome, what do you think a person could get for twenty million? At this point, I think he'd just take a decent handjob and some spooning. Which is not to say that he wouldn't love to have a threesome - I'm sure he'd love to have sex with as many women at one time as possible, so long as he could keep his shirt on. His willingness to settle for the handjob/spooning is more a reflection of his general sense of resignation in all matters of the genitals than his ambition to show his bird to as many women as possible. But I wonder...hmph.]
[By the way, the book writing is going well. Pretty much. Have a good weekend and continue to wish me luck.]
But there’s a problem: this is a scam. Or at least, it’s not genuine. You see, the proprietor of this website is repeating himself. Let me explain.
Part of my responsibility of being an Internet Famous Person is that I get probably 200 emails a week that just deal with different links. It is my duty to click on these links, no matter how stupid they might be or how much time they might waste, in order to give you, the reader, anything that I think might excite you. And I mean that sexually and otherwise.
Over a month ago, I started getting the above link about a guy who made a bet with his girlfriend that stated if he could get two million hits on his crappy website, she’d have a threesome with him. I clicked through, thought it was a good idea, and was going to post about it, but then I didn’t need to – the guy got his two million hits. Actually, he got his two million hits, if I’m not mistaken, in about three weeks. The first day I saw it he was at about one million, a few days later, he was at three million. He updated his progress with little comments at the bottom of the page, writing in to congratulate readers (and himself) at watershed numbers and thanking everyone for their support. The site even had a message board, where women were vying to be the third party in the threesome, and men (and women) were commenting on their worthiness.
Then like I said, just this morning, I’ve already received this link over thirty times – again. I expected, when I clicked through, to see the dude at ten million hits and working on an orgy or something involving himself, his girlfriend, a donkey, and some PVC piping.
Instead, he’s basically started over. He’s reset the counter to zero and is using the same gimmick again, deleting all references to the past incarnation of the site. The picture of the girlfriend is even different (last time, she was a brunette). And once again, he’s racing toward two million hits, which he will probably have in two days (he’s gotten about 300,000 in the three hours since I first checked today).
I can only speculate why he’s doing this, but essentially, he can keep reinventing this gimmick and get his two million hits every two weeks or so. The internet is a big and wonderful place and has the power to parlay a catchy gimmick like this or someone with marginal talent into fame and fortune (I think I have a little bit of expertise in this area). I imagine this guy will have a book deal in the next two months, a development deal in four, and get his first coked-up high-priced hooker blowjob in six (he’ll be getting the cheaper version any minute now). Good for him.
[Or some copycat has set this up. I have no idea. I really shouldn't speak about this at all, since I know nothing about website design, internet marketing, or technology in general.]
But if you are seeing this for the first time today, or are passing it on to your friends, know that it is old news. And most importantly, stop passing it on to me. I have seen it, I had seen it, and I no longer want to see it. Thank you.
And besides, you jagoffs should be passing on my site anyway. I gots to get paid, son.
[And what if, just hypothetically, someone ran a website that got just under twenty million hits a year? If two million is a good for a threesome, what do you think a person could get for twenty million? At this point, I think he'd just take a decent handjob and some spooning. Which is not to say that he wouldn't love to have a threesome - I'm sure he'd love to have sex with as many women at one time as possible, so long as he could keep his shirt on. His willingness to settle for the handjob/spooning is more a reflection of his general sense of resignation in all matters of the genitals than his ambition to show his bird to as many women as possible. But I wonder...hmph.]
[By the way, the book writing is going well. Pretty much. Have a good weekend and continue to wish me luck.]
