perverts of the Philadelphia area
10 May 2006
Friends, Lovers, and Fellow Perverts in or around Philadelphia,
I am looking for a good strip club in the Philadelphia area. Preferably close to South Philly, meaning over the bridge in NJ is acceptable. Requirements are as follows:
- topless
- not so sketchy that I need to bring a gun
I am planning a bachelor party for this weekend (more on this later) and thought what I found was the perfect strip club. I called the club yesterday, made the necessary arrangements, and even pulled the "I’m kind of a big deal" card, telling the manager that I’m famous and was one of People’s "50 Hottest Bachelors" and yada yada yada. He ate it up then significantly reduced the rate per person, which made me feel just about as cool as I’ve ever felt. Then, just when we were about to hang up:
Him: "Alright, Jason – you’re all set."
Me: "Sweet. See you Saturday."
Him: "Well, one thing I want to make sure of. You know we’re not topless, right?"
Me: [having no idea that they were not topless] "Um, sure. Sure, I knew that."
Him: "Yeah, because in Jersey if you serve alcohol you can’t be topless."
Me: [driving my hand through my livingroom wall] "No, I totally knew that."
Him: "Great – see you Saturday, Jason."
So now I have to call and cancel this reservation, because I didn’t know that alcohol-serving strip clubs in NJ couldn’t be topless. I actually think I secretly knew this, but forgot. My question is how can the state of New Jersey have a rule like this but also allow strip clubs that are a) BYOB and b) completely nude (I’ve been to these clubs in NJ, but in North Jersey, too far away from Philly)? Also, have you seen "The Sopranos?" The Bada-Bing is topless and serves booze. What gives?
Therefore, I turn to you. I know there are lots of clubs in Philly proper, but they are always very expensive and very crowded. That’s why this club in NJ looked a good fit; within in an hour drive from Philly, reasonably priced, and supposedly very good-looking girls. So please don’t recommend the big Philly clubs, since I already know them.
So if you can help, shoot me an email asap. Thank you and I love you and I will write more later or something.
I am looking for a good strip club in the Philadelphia area. Preferably close to South Philly, meaning over the bridge in NJ is acceptable. Requirements are as follows:
- topless
- not so sketchy that I need to bring a gun
I am planning a bachelor party for this weekend (more on this later) and thought what I found was the perfect strip club. I called the club yesterday, made the necessary arrangements, and even pulled the "I’m kind of a big deal" card, telling the manager that I’m famous and was one of People’s "50 Hottest Bachelors" and yada yada yada. He ate it up then significantly reduced the rate per person, which made me feel just about as cool as I’ve ever felt. Then, just when we were about to hang up:
Him: "Alright, Jason – you’re all set."
Me: "Sweet. See you Saturday."
Him: "Well, one thing I want to make sure of. You know we’re not topless, right?"
Me: [having no idea that they were not topless] "Um, sure. Sure, I knew that."
Him: "Yeah, because in Jersey if you serve alcohol you can’t be topless."
Me: [driving my hand through my livingroom wall] "No, I totally knew that."
Him: "Great – see you Saturday, Jason."
So now I have to call and cancel this reservation, because I didn’t know that alcohol-serving strip clubs in NJ couldn’t be topless. I actually think I secretly knew this, but forgot. My question is how can the state of New Jersey have a rule like this but also allow strip clubs that are a) BYOB and b) completely nude (I’ve been to these clubs in NJ, but in North Jersey, too far away from Philly)? Also, have you seen "The Sopranos?" The Bada-Bing is topless and serves booze. What gives?
Therefore, I turn to you. I know there are lots of clubs in Philly proper, but they are always very expensive and very crowded. That’s why this club in NJ looked a good fit; within in an hour drive from Philly, reasonably priced, and supposedly very good-looking girls. So please don’t recommend the big Philly clubs, since I already know them.
So if you can help, shoot me an email asap. Thank you and I love you and I will write more later or something.
