hangover, politics
23 May 2006
I’m not in great shape today. Apparently, my "moment" over the weekend, which I spoke of so endearingly yesterday, caused me to stay up until 3am last night, drinking champagne and trolling MySpace for sex. Not my finest – things definitely got a little out of order there. If you were on MySpace between 1am and 3am (EST) and I contacted you trying to initiate a sexual encounter, please accept my apologies. Both for being so crude, but also for being so bad at it. I realize that there are probably better ways to ask for sex over the internet than via MySpace message with subject lines like "Titties? For me?" or "Tastte [sic] of Hate." Likewise, I’m sure a woman would be slightly more inclined to meet me on the corner of Delancey and the Bowery if I didn’t tell her I was a very experienced fister or if I didn’t refer to my penis as "The Punisher."
Since I’m hungover, I’m in no mood to write much, but I wanted to touch upon something of Great Social and Political Importance.
Condoleezza Rice gave the commencement address at my alma mater, Boston College, yesterday. She was also awarded an honorary degree. Some people were not happy with this. Others were. I’d like to add my thoughts on the matter, if you don’t mind.
To be honest, I don’t care that Rice spoke. I disagree with her stance on a number of positions as I disagree with the administration as a whole, but unfortunately, I have grown too jaded to give a fuck. Sad, but true. What’s even sadder is that I’m ok with this.
On the other hand, in a way I think it’s good that Rice spoke at commencement. Do you know who my commencement speaker was? Neither do I. I had been up all night, was sweating Popov vodka, and was melting under my black robe in 85 degree heat. Upon entering Alumni Stadium and walking on the field, I actually had to leave the line, go back into the stadium, and hop over a metal gate to take a shit. Then I got back in line and walked onto the field again.
Having someone like Condoleezza Rice speak draws attention to the university. It shows that it is growing into a big name academic institution. Hell, if I applied today I probably wouldn’t get into BC (well, that’s not true, but you get the point). Even if you disagree with her, you have to admit that she’s not only one of the most famous people in the world right now, but also one of the most powerful.
Some of you emailed me drawing my attention to Steve Almond’s piece in the Boston Globe. Almond, my former writing teacher at BC, resigned from the university when he learned that Rice would be the commencement speaker and awarded an honorary degree. Almond claimed not just that her actions as secretary of state were not consistent with the views of the Catholic/Jesuit college, but that she was a straight up liar.
I have long sung (sang?) Steve’s praises on this site and have pimped him at every opportunity. But when I say that I do admire his cajones and willingness to stand up for a cause he believes in, it comes with concessions.
At first, it seemed awfully dramatic to me. Writers, by their nature, are dramatic, sensitive people. I sent this article to some friends who either had or knew Steve in college, and we spent an afternoon trying to come up with a list of people more dramatic than our old prof. We decided that the only person we could definitively say was more dramatic than Steve was Sir Elton John. Zsa Zsa Gabor was also mentioned, but we decided it wouldn’t be fair to mix females into this competition, since they are total fucking lunatics to begin with and thus have an unfair advantage.
Then, I thought it might be a publicity stunt. As an attention whore, I know that there is no such thing as bad press, and doing something as crazy as resigning from a respected college over its choice of commencement speaker is certain to raise a few eyebrows. And that’s what it did. This was a fairly big story in the Boston area and Steve was on NPR, laying into the administration of Boston College for getting involved with Rice.
But I think I have a little more insight into the situation that needs to be applied. I’m not claiming that Steve and I are friends – to be honest, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even like me – but I’m certain that he is passionate about his politics. I also know, more than most, that Steve had a pretty good gig at BC. He taught one, maybe two, classes per semester. He dominated the classes with his outlandish personality, pissing off some, but entertaining and educating the majority. He made many a new fan. And pretty much every chick in the class wanted to sleep with him.
So all things considered, I think that the motivation behind Steve’s resignation is genuine. Most people, like me and everyone else I know, don’t give a fuck about things like ideals or what’s right. I’m more concerned with The Sopranos and titties. You have to give it to someone who’s willing to walk away from a sweet gig in order to raise awareness about a cause he believes in.
Conversely, for the reasons mentioned above, I can understand why a number of you sent me the link to the Boston Globe piece with a literary eye-roll. Yes, it’s a weird thing to do and he sounds like a god damn hippy, but hippies were lovely people who gave us tie dye, primo drugs and Jefferson Airplane.
In conclusion:
- I don’t care about Condoleezza Rice speaking at/being awarded a degree from BC
- Steve Almond’s resignation: strange, but genuine
- Thank god I don’t have to watch Vito kiss another man on Sopranos
- I will not rest until I have sex via MySpace
Now back to putting my head on my desk and not answering my phone.
Since I’m hungover, I’m in no mood to write much, but I wanted to touch upon something of Great Social and Political Importance.
Condoleezza Rice gave the commencement address at my alma mater, Boston College, yesterday. She was also awarded an honorary degree. Some people were not happy with this. Others were. I’d like to add my thoughts on the matter, if you don’t mind.
To be honest, I don’t care that Rice spoke. I disagree with her stance on a number of positions as I disagree with the administration as a whole, but unfortunately, I have grown too jaded to give a fuck. Sad, but true. What’s even sadder is that I’m ok with this.
On the other hand, in a way I think it’s good that Rice spoke at commencement. Do you know who my commencement speaker was? Neither do I. I had been up all night, was sweating Popov vodka, and was melting under my black robe in 85 degree heat. Upon entering Alumni Stadium and walking on the field, I actually had to leave the line, go back into the stadium, and hop over a metal gate to take a shit. Then I got back in line and walked onto the field again.
Having someone like Condoleezza Rice speak draws attention to the university. It shows that it is growing into a big name academic institution. Hell, if I applied today I probably wouldn’t get into BC (well, that’s not true, but you get the point). Even if you disagree with her, you have to admit that she’s not only one of the most famous people in the world right now, but also one of the most powerful.
Some of you emailed me drawing my attention to Steve Almond’s piece in the Boston Globe. Almond, my former writing teacher at BC, resigned from the university when he learned that Rice would be the commencement speaker and awarded an honorary degree. Almond claimed not just that her actions as secretary of state were not consistent with the views of the Catholic/Jesuit college, but that she was a straight up liar.
I have long sung (sang?) Steve’s praises on this site and have pimped him at every opportunity. But when I say that I do admire his cajones and willingness to stand up for a cause he believes in, it comes with concessions.
At first, it seemed awfully dramatic to me. Writers, by their nature, are dramatic, sensitive people. I sent this article to some friends who either had or knew Steve in college, and we spent an afternoon trying to come up with a list of people more dramatic than our old prof. We decided that the only person we could definitively say was more dramatic than Steve was Sir Elton John. Zsa Zsa Gabor was also mentioned, but we decided it wouldn’t be fair to mix females into this competition, since they are total fucking lunatics to begin with and thus have an unfair advantage.
Then, I thought it might be a publicity stunt. As an attention whore, I know that there is no such thing as bad press, and doing something as crazy as resigning from a respected college over its choice of commencement speaker is certain to raise a few eyebrows. And that’s what it did. This was a fairly big story in the Boston area and Steve was on NPR, laying into the administration of Boston College for getting involved with Rice.
But I think I have a little more insight into the situation that needs to be applied. I’m not claiming that Steve and I are friends – to be honest, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even like me – but I’m certain that he is passionate about his politics. I also know, more than most, that Steve had a pretty good gig at BC. He taught one, maybe two, classes per semester. He dominated the classes with his outlandish personality, pissing off some, but entertaining and educating the majority. He made many a new fan. And pretty much every chick in the class wanted to sleep with him.
So all things considered, I think that the motivation behind Steve’s resignation is genuine. Most people, like me and everyone else I know, don’t give a fuck about things like ideals or what’s right. I’m more concerned with The Sopranos and titties. You have to give it to someone who’s willing to walk away from a sweet gig in order to raise awareness about a cause he believes in.
Conversely, for the reasons mentioned above, I can understand why a number of you sent me the link to the Boston Globe piece with a literary eye-roll. Yes, it’s a weird thing to do and he sounds like a god damn hippy, but hippies were lovely people who gave us tie dye, primo drugs and Jefferson Airplane.
In conclusion:
- I don’t care about Condoleezza Rice speaking at/being awarded a degree from BC
- Steve Almond’s resignation: strange, but genuine
- Thank god I don’t have to watch Vito kiss another man on Sopranos
- I will not rest until I have sex via MySpace
Now back to putting my head on my desk and not answering my phone.
