I just joined a beer of the month club, loaded up my Amazon.com cart with all your book recommendations (thank you), and sent a hand-written fax to my old roommate Ben, who now lives and works in Seattle, that went like this:

BEN,

The PONZI SCHEME has COLLAPSED.  EARTH.  PLEASE call me when you get this.  It is NOT an EMERGENCY (NOT), but we should TALK.  I have NO phone.

Love,
LUCAS/jason

He’s going to be so, so pissed.  He got pissed at me last week when we were emailing and I reminded him that I’ve slept with more women than he has (but to be fair, I’ve really been with a lot of women).  So I can only imagine his reaction when a co-worker brings this fax to him.   

At any rate, this is how slow my Friday is.  I can almost taste the beer in my throat.  If I had a TV in my office, I would have turned it off by now, having grown sick of watching it.  I’m not really sure if that makes any sense, but what it means that I’ve been so bored that…forget it.   

I think I’m going to go for a walk.  It’s a perfect day to head down to the Seaport to make eyes at all the underage tourist girls.  

[And yes, I realize that this has no point and is not funny, but I wanted to share my boredom with y'all.  So forgive me.]

[Besides, I thought the fax was pretty funny.  Maybe you have to know Ben.]

[Oh, and I feel better.  Not 100%, but probably around 82%, which is coincidentally the percentage needed to get the green light to start drinking whiskey right after dinner.  So that's nice.]

[And have a good weekend.]