sopranos, bleeps, music
11 June 2007
First (and stop reading if you haven’t seen the last episode of "The Sopranos"), last night, I was furious. My initial reaction (aside from, "Did the cable go out?") was that the ending of "The Sopranos" was a terrible let-down. Not only that, I felt it was a slap in the face to the viewer. I thought that the writers were being manipulative; by not paying off the final scene, they were taking advantage of the viewer, simply because they could. Though suspenseful, it was not good television because it was so manipulative (and remember, I used to be a TV writer). I’m not saying that I needed Tony’s brains splattered across the diner countertops, but seeing the guy who walked into the bathroom (who, by the way, looked a lot like Phil Leotardo) walk out with a gun drawn or even just having him walk out and Tony look at him would have offered me more closure. Instead, the mood at the mini-Sopranos party I had at my place was angry, bitter and unfufilled (the cannolis I picked up at Ferrara‘s were a hit, however).
But today, after a good night’s sleep and with time to think it over, I’m ok with the ending. A lot of loose ends were tied up in the episode, and I was grateful for that. And any way you cut it, "bad" writing or not, I can’t remember the last time I watched any form of entertainment – tv, movie or otherwise – during which my heart was pounding like it was in that last scene. We were all completely frozen in place, completely enthralled. Very gripping stuff.
So I’m ok with it. Seriously. I am. And God will I miss that show.
[Here's a great conspiracy theory, courtesy of Deadspin:
"So here is what I found out. The guy at the bar is also credited as Nikki Leotardo. The same actor played him in the first part of season 6 during a brief sit down concerning the future of Vito. That wasn't that long ago. Apparently, he is the nephew of Phil. Phil's brother Nikki Senior was killed in 1976 in a car accident. Absolutely Genius!!!! David Chase is truly rewarding the true fans who pay attention to detail.
So the point would have been that life continues and we may never know the end of the Sopranos. But if you pay attention to the history, you will find that all the answers lie in the characters in the restaurant. The trucker was the brother of the guy who was robbed by Christopher in Season 2. Remember the DVD players? The trucker had to identify the body. The boy scouts were in the train store and the black guys at the end were the ones who tried to kill Tony and only clipped him in the ear (was that season 2 or 3?)."]
Second, this only gives further credence to what I stressed over and over again during my time as a TV writer: nothing is funnier than the bleep.
[youtube]EJJL5dxgVaM[/youtube]
Since I haven’t done this in some time, here’s a special bonus Six Songs.
Six Songs
"Sweet Thing" Van Morrison
I recently remade my make-out mix, formerly titled "Mood" (for secrecy’s sake) but now titled "Let’s Make Out or Something" (because I’m finding that secrecy doesn’t really help and/or matter). The remodeling of the consisted of removing all songs by popular artists and leaving only songs by lesser known artists. For example, in its previous incarnation, the mix included songs by U2, Phish, Fiona Apple, etc. Since the goal of the make-out mix has always been to "foster an environment conducive to making out, heavy petting, and, God willing, sexual intercourse, without making the objectives of the mix apparent and thereby raising suspicions of the female present," it is necessary that the mix is subtly suggestive (title notwithstanding) without being aggressive or cheesy. So gone were songs like "Trying To Throw You Arms Around The World" and the like. Now, the mix consists exclusively of songs by artists that only more serious music fans would recognize (i.e. Nick Drake, Joseph Arthur, Yo La Tengo, Beulah – maybe not unknown musicians, but remember, most of the women I make out with listen to Chingy and Fergie).
However, during this purge, I could not remove this song. Of course, Van Morrison’s voice is instantly recognizable and any unsuspecting woman would quickly become suspecting after hearing the first few notes of that acoustic bass, but I just…couldn’t…do it. It’s such a beautiful song that should be required on every make-out mix ever created. The voice, the strings, the acoustic guitar and bass, the high-hat, all work in unison to create not a mood but a movement, a movement that says, "Go ahead and hug for a while. Then maybe kiss for a little bit. Everything is cool. Relax and enjoy the luxury of each other’s company." It is for this reason that this song is one of my top ten favorite songs and will always be on any make-out mix that I create until the day I die (or am no longer able to make out).
(This song isn’t on iTunes, but it should be easy to rip this song from Limewire or some other file sharing service. And don’t feel bad about doing this; I think Van has enough cash.)
"Here I Am Baby" The Marvelettes
This song gets me moving – and grooving. The story goes: I went through a slut phase, then I became a career woman (with real hair, real fingernails, got a job, going to school, and don’t need nobody help me handle my bidness), and then I met you. For whatever reason, I dig you. Let’s do this. So it’s beautiful, really - and it makes me dance. You can’t beat that.
"Modern Romance" Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Confession: this is the first Yeah Yeah Yeahs’ song I ever heard and I heard it for the first time about three weeks ago. Like every "cool"/hipster-beloved band of the past six years (Strokes, Interpol, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Arcade Fire, Arctic Monkeys, etc), it took me several months to even consider listening to them, so repulsed was I of the spoogefest that surrounded them. I am more than a little bit in love with the second part of this song, which I will cut and call "Modern Romance Part Two" and add to my make-out list. It’s a little scary, sure, but anyone who finds herself listening to my make-out mix in the first place can probably handle it (the weak are usually weeded out around drink two).
(Also, I still hate Interpol and Arctic Monkeys. Fuck them for making really bad music.)
(FYI: The version linked above is a live version which I can’t hear and haven’t heard, whereas I was writing about the studio version, which is not available on iTunes.)
"Wake Up" The Arcade Fire
Speaking of hipster-beloved bands, per my explanation above I hated this album when it came out. Of course, now I love it (and of course, I haven’t gotten the new one yet). The last minute forty-five of this song always put a smile on my face and a swivel in my hips. Also, I’ve decided that I want to put together a boy-girl band that will be described as a cross between Fleetwood Mac, Sly & The Family Stone, and The Arcade Fire.
"Here Comes the Meter Man" The Meters
I know I just recommended one of their songs a few weeks back, but spring and The Meters go so well together. Required listening when I’m walking around Soho in the warm weather, staring at women just a little too long, thinking I’m much more cooler than I actually am. This jam could be 40 minutes long and it’d still be too short.
"I Wanna Buy You A Ring" Huffamoose
An endearing and romantic song from a very good (yet very unknown) band from Philly. I hear so much from my friends about engagement rings that I’m pretty sure that I never want to buy one – and if this means not getting married, well then so be it. But this song is so sweet and simple that it restores my faith. In what, I’m not exactly sure. The second pre-chorus that starts "I wanna be in fifth grade again" makes me especially warm in my belly.
[I once went on a blind date with a girl who told me, quite off-handedly, that the strongest feelings she'd ever had for anyone was in grade school. It kinda blew me away, the way she casually mentioned something that made her, in my eyes, so vulnerable. It also helped that she was extremely attractive (thanks again, Johnny). Of course, after the date, even though we spoke on the phone like old friends prior to the date and had a great time during the date, she never called me again. I wonder if this is because she was about a 9.2 and I look like Daniel Baldwin with less hair and after a two week whipped cream binge. But I will never forget her saying this, and the way she said it. Oh well. She's probably now dating a guy who can do more than six push-ups, but he probably doesn't have a 42" plasma or a banjo hanging in his office. The jerk.]
[By the way, I got a banjo. It's blowing my mind. I might marry it.]
"Time Is Running Out" Muse
This song makes me feel like a 13 year old and a sex addict. It’s a very sexy song and one that I think I would have loved when I was 13, when I was confused and concerned about women and the only thing I knew about them was that they’d ultimately destroy me. Hearing it as a 27 year old, I still like it (and I know only slightly more about women and am more sure than ever that they will destroy me, but only creatively and financially).
"Femme Fatale (Live)" Velvet Underground
Speaking of women as destroyers, see: this song (the title, roughly translated, means "fatal female"). Before Hall & Oates (or as I call them, H&O) warned us about the "Maneater," the Velvet Underground decried the femme fatale. This live version is eons better than the original, not because I’m being sexist, but because it exudes coolness. I can’t put it any other way than to say that I feel cooler when I listen to this song and I feel even cooler that I own it. Many Velvet Underground songs make me feel this way. If you have low self-esteem, I suggest you invest in their box set. Trust me.
"Ain’t No Way" Aretha Franklin
You know what’s unfortunate about Aretha Franklin? My generation and the generations around mine, because of countless knock-offs, cheap imitations, and "American Idol" contestants, can’t appreciate her properly. We’re inundated nowadays with wannabe R&B/soul singers, all imitating Aretha, all pulling the black-female-soul-singer-who’s-maybe-a-little-big-but-has-a-bigger-voice thing, that we forget that Aretha was both the original and the best.
I mean, can you imagine being around when Aretha first broke onto the scene? Her voice is overwhelming in the most literal sense of the world; when I hear her sing, I get so overstimulated that I don’t know what to do. This song in particular is intense. This woman is not faking it – she’s not just reading lyrics off of a few sheets of music. She’s been there. And she wants you to know it. She’s just so much better than everyone who came after her, and we need to be aware of this.
(Hey, can someone please help me down from this high horse that I’m on? Sorry about that, but I dare you to listen to this song and not be blown away. This song, her voice; the reason why people started recording music. Aretha is the Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, and Franklin Roosevelt of soul singers. No one compares. And it’s not even close.)
"Roscoe" Midlake
I was introduced to this band about a year ago via an email from a reader, who also included a picture of her boobies. It was, and still is, arguably the greatest boobie picture I’ve ever gotten. (Seriously, when I saw the picture, I stood up from my chair and applauded – spectacular).
But I had a hard time getting into the band, because I find them a little…creepy. This song particularly makes me uncomfortable, though I can’t stop listening to it. To me, it sounds like a song that would be used in a trailer in a movie about a real-life killer. And I’m not talking about a crappy serial killer movie, but one similar to "Silence of the Lambs" – something genuinely fucking terrifying, but also compelling. Yeah, maybe that’s why I find this song so creepy and appealing. Something like that.
(This song can also be heard on the band’s MySpace page.)
"Cheek to Cheek" Sahara Hotnights
What a tremendously strange and rocking song, which I’ve played approximately 50 times in the last week. When the horn breaks it down at about 2:10 into the song, well, it’s just about the coolest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.
(This song is not available on iTunes but can be heard on my MySpace page.)
But today, after a good night’s sleep and with time to think it over, I’m ok with the ending. A lot of loose ends were tied up in the episode, and I was grateful for that. And any way you cut it, "bad" writing or not, I can’t remember the last time I watched any form of entertainment – tv, movie or otherwise – during which my heart was pounding like it was in that last scene. We were all completely frozen in place, completely enthralled. Very gripping stuff.
So I’m ok with it. Seriously. I am. And God will I miss that show.
[Here's a great conspiracy theory, courtesy of Deadspin:
"So here is what I found out. The guy at the bar is also credited as Nikki Leotardo. The same actor played him in the first part of season 6 during a brief sit down concerning the future of Vito. That wasn't that long ago. Apparently, he is the nephew of Phil. Phil's brother Nikki Senior was killed in 1976 in a car accident. Absolutely Genius!!!! David Chase is truly rewarding the true fans who pay attention to detail.
So the point would have been that life continues and we may never know the end of the Sopranos. But if you pay attention to the history, you will find that all the answers lie in the characters in the restaurant. The trucker was the brother of the guy who was robbed by Christopher in Season 2. Remember the DVD players? The trucker had to identify the body. The boy scouts were in the train store and the black guys at the end were the ones who tried to kill Tony and only clipped him in the ear (was that season 2 or 3?)."]
Second, this only gives further credence to what I stressed over and over again during my time as a TV writer: nothing is funnier than the bleep.
[youtube]EJJL5dxgVaM[/youtube]
Since I haven’t done this in some time, here’s a special bonus Six Songs.
Six Songs
"Sweet Thing" Van Morrison
I recently remade my make-out mix, formerly titled "Mood" (for secrecy’s sake) but now titled "Let’s Make Out or Something" (because I’m finding that secrecy doesn’t really help and/or matter). The remodeling of the consisted of removing all songs by popular artists and leaving only songs by lesser known artists. For example, in its previous incarnation, the mix included songs by U2, Phish, Fiona Apple, etc. Since the goal of the make-out mix has always been to "foster an environment conducive to making out, heavy petting, and, God willing, sexual intercourse, without making the objectives of the mix apparent and thereby raising suspicions of the female present," it is necessary that the mix is subtly suggestive (title notwithstanding) without being aggressive or cheesy. So gone were songs like "Trying To Throw You Arms Around The World" and the like. Now, the mix consists exclusively of songs by artists that only more serious music fans would recognize (i.e. Nick Drake, Joseph Arthur, Yo La Tengo, Beulah – maybe not unknown musicians, but remember, most of the women I make out with listen to Chingy and Fergie).
However, during this purge, I could not remove this song. Of course, Van Morrison’s voice is instantly recognizable and any unsuspecting woman would quickly become suspecting after hearing the first few notes of that acoustic bass, but I just…couldn’t…do it. It’s such a beautiful song that should be required on every make-out mix ever created. The voice, the strings, the acoustic guitar and bass, the high-hat, all work in unison to create not a mood but a movement, a movement that says, "Go ahead and hug for a while. Then maybe kiss for a little bit. Everything is cool. Relax and enjoy the luxury of each other’s company." It is for this reason that this song is one of my top ten favorite songs and will always be on any make-out mix that I create until the day I die (or am no longer able to make out).
(This song isn’t on iTunes, but it should be easy to rip this song from Limewire or some other file sharing service. And don’t feel bad about doing this; I think Van has enough cash.)
"Here I Am Baby" The Marvelettes
This song gets me moving – and grooving. The story goes: I went through a slut phase, then I became a career woman (with real hair, real fingernails, got a job, going to school, and don’t need nobody help me handle my bidness), and then I met you. For whatever reason, I dig you. Let’s do this. So it’s beautiful, really - and it makes me dance. You can’t beat that.
"Modern Romance" Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Confession: this is the first Yeah Yeah Yeahs’ song I ever heard and I heard it for the first time about three weeks ago. Like every "cool"/hipster-beloved band of the past six years (Strokes, Interpol, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Arcade Fire, Arctic Monkeys, etc), it took me several months to even consider listening to them, so repulsed was I of the spoogefest that surrounded them. I am more than a little bit in love with the second part of this song, which I will cut and call "Modern Romance Part Two" and add to my make-out list. It’s a little scary, sure, but anyone who finds herself listening to my make-out mix in the first place can probably handle it (the weak are usually weeded out around drink two).
(Also, I still hate Interpol and Arctic Monkeys. Fuck them for making really bad music.)
(FYI: The version linked above is a live version which I can’t hear and haven’t heard, whereas I was writing about the studio version, which is not available on iTunes.)
"Wake Up" The Arcade Fire
Speaking of hipster-beloved bands, per my explanation above I hated this album when it came out. Of course, now I love it (and of course, I haven’t gotten the new one yet). The last minute forty-five of this song always put a smile on my face and a swivel in my hips. Also, I’ve decided that I want to put together a boy-girl band that will be described as a cross between Fleetwood Mac, Sly & The Family Stone, and The Arcade Fire.
"Here Comes the Meter Man" The Meters
I know I just recommended one of their songs a few weeks back, but spring and The Meters go so well together. Required listening when I’m walking around Soho in the warm weather, staring at women just a little too long, thinking I’m much more cooler than I actually am. This jam could be 40 minutes long and it’d still be too short.
"I Wanna Buy You A Ring" Huffamoose
An endearing and romantic song from a very good (yet very unknown) band from Philly. I hear so much from my friends about engagement rings that I’m pretty sure that I never want to buy one – and if this means not getting married, well then so be it. But this song is so sweet and simple that it restores my faith. In what, I’m not exactly sure. The second pre-chorus that starts "I wanna be in fifth grade again" makes me especially warm in my belly.
[I once went on a blind date with a girl who told me, quite off-handedly, that the strongest feelings she'd ever had for anyone was in grade school. It kinda blew me away, the way she casually mentioned something that made her, in my eyes, so vulnerable. It also helped that she was extremely attractive (thanks again, Johnny). Of course, after the date, even though we spoke on the phone like old friends prior to the date and had a great time during the date, she never called me again. I wonder if this is because she was about a 9.2 and I look like Daniel Baldwin with less hair and after a two week whipped cream binge. But I will never forget her saying this, and the way she said it. Oh well. She's probably now dating a guy who can do more than six push-ups, but he probably doesn't have a 42" plasma or a banjo hanging in his office. The jerk.]
[By the way, I got a banjo. It's blowing my mind. I might marry it.]
"Time Is Running Out" Muse
This song makes me feel like a 13 year old and a sex addict. It’s a very sexy song and one that I think I would have loved when I was 13, when I was confused and concerned about women and the only thing I knew about them was that they’d ultimately destroy me. Hearing it as a 27 year old, I still like it (and I know only slightly more about women and am more sure than ever that they will destroy me, but only creatively and financially).
"Femme Fatale (Live)" Velvet Underground
Speaking of women as destroyers, see: this song (the title, roughly translated, means "fatal female"). Before Hall & Oates (or as I call them, H&O) warned us about the "Maneater," the Velvet Underground decried the femme fatale. This live version is eons better than the original, not because I’m being sexist, but because it exudes coolness. I can’t put it any other way than to say that I feel cooler when I listen to this song and I feel even cooler that I own it. Many Velvet Underground songs make me feel this way. If you have low self-esteem, I suggest you invest in their box set. Trust me.
"Ain’t No Way" Aretha Franklin
You know what’s unfortunate about Aretha Franklin? My generation and the generations around mine, because of countless knock-offs, cheap imitations, and "American Idol" contestants, can’t appreciate her properly. We’re inundated nowadays with wannabe R&B/soul singers, all imitating Aretha, all pulling the black-female-soul-singer-who’s-maybe-a-little-big-but-has-a-bigger-voice thing, that we forget that Aretha was both the original and the best.
I mean, can you imagine being around when Aretha first broke onto the scene? Her voice is overwhelming in the most literal sense of the world; when I hear her sing, I get so overstimulated that I don’t know what to do. This song in particular is intense. This woman is not faking it – she’s not just reading lyrics off of a few sheets of music. She’s been there. And she wants you to know it. She’s just so much better than everyone who came after her, and we need to be aware of this.
(Hey, can someone please help me down from this high horse that I’m on? Sorry about that, but I dare you to listen to this song and not be blown away. This song, her voice; the reason why people started recording music. Aretha is the Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, and Franklin Roosevelt of soul singers. No one compares. And it’s not even close.)
"Roscoe" Midlake
I was introduced to this band about a year ago via an email from a reader, who also included a picture of her boobies. It was, and still is, arguably the greatest boobie picture I’ve ever gotten. (Seriously, when I saw the picture, I stood up from my chair and applauded – spectacular).
But I had a hard time getting into the band, because I find them a little…creepy. This song particularly makes me uncomfortable, though I can’t stop listening to it. To me, it sounds like a song that would be used in a trailer in a movie about a real-life killer. And I’m not talking about a crappy serial killer movie, but one similar to "Silence of the Lambs" – something genuinely fucking terrifying, but also compelling. Yeah, maybe that’s why I find this song so creepy and appealing. Something like that.
(This song can also be heard on the band’s MySpace page.)
"Cheek to Cheek" Sahara Hotnights
What a tremendously strange and rocking song, which I’ve played approximately 50 times in the last week. When the horn breaks it down at about 2:10 into the song, well, it’s just about the coolest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.
(This song is not available on iTunes but can be heard on my MySpace page.)
