bartending, “monthly” email, my book
1 November 2007
A few admin notes:
1) On Saturday, November 24 (that’s the Saturday of Thanksgiving weekend), I will be guest bartending from 8pm to 11pm at Mick-Daniel’s Saloon in South Philly at 2nd Street & Snyder Avenue. Mick-Daniel’s and I have a long history together. Not only is it my bar of choice when I’m back home, but I worked there all through high school, starting as a dishwasher, then as an assistant crab maker during all-you-can-eat crab night (back then, Thursday), and finally doing some short-order cooking. God, those were such simpler and less-hairy times. Masturbated like a crazy monkey, I did.
(Not at the bar. At home. Usually in my bedroom or in the basement. Just wanted to clear that up.)
So if you’re in the city of Philadelphia that weekend, stop by for a drink. As long as you ask for a bottled beer or a one mixer/one alcohol drink (i.e. vodka tonic, rum and coke, etc), we’ll be fine. Ask for something complicated and we’re going to have some problems. Serious, serious problems.
2) I know you’ve heard this before, so much so that I’m loathe to say it, but the "monthly" email is going out next week. Seriously. Site Guy Brendan has it and I have no further changes, so it’s all up to him (no pressure there, Brendan). It’s about blowjobs. It’s very long, so I apologize for that, but it’s an ideal read on the can. If you haven’t signed up, do so on the right. And if you like the email, pass it on. There will be one next month, too. I know you don’t believe me, but watch.
3) Finally, an important update regarding my book.
(Shhhh – everyone listen up.)
I told you guys that the book was to be released this fall and as you may have noticed, it’s already November – and not a peep about the book. This is because the book will not be released in the fall. As a matter of fact, I can’t tell you when exactly it will be released, except to say that it will definitely be released at some point. That, I can promise you.
The fact that it won’t be released this fall is good and bad news. Bad because, my god, I want this thing out already. I want a book tour and sex with strange women in strange cities. I want a book release party with free drinks. I want to grow my hair and beard to hippy length, smoke very long cigarettes, wear purple robes and say amazingly deep things, like, "There is love, and there is nothing; it is humankind’s greatest responsibility to make the correct choice", as people lying around me ohh and ahh and rub my private parts.
But it’s good because, believe it or not, it’s only making the book better. It’s a complicated situation that I can’t really get into, but despite the delay, I’ve been very happy with how everything has worked out and continues to work out, and pleased with the reactions and advice that everyone in this process has given me. I know that sounds like a bland, general, and legally-approved statement, but I hope you believe me when I say that I wouldn’t write that if it weren’t true. I’m happy. Maybe a little impatient, but happy.
I will continue to try to update you on the progress of the book, but the best thing you can do is…sign up for the email list. That’ll get you the blowjob email and any further book announcements as they become available. As I said before, your email will not be sold or otherwise tampered with, mostly because Site Guy Brendan and I don’t know how to do that. If we did, you’d be in trouble. Serious, serious trouble.
1) On Saturday, November 24 (that’s the Saturday of Thanksgiving weekend), I will be guest bartending from 8pm to 11pm at Mick-Daniel’s Saloon in South Philly at 2nd Street & Snyder Avenue. Mick-Daniel’s and I have a long history together. Not only is it my bar of choice when I’m back home, but I worked there all through high school, starting as a dishwasher, then as an assistant crab maker during all-you-can-eat crab night (back then, Thursday), and finally doing some short-order cooking. God, those were such simpler and less-hairy times. Masturbated like a crazy monkey, I did.
(Not at the bar. At home. Usually in my bedroom or in the basement. Just wanted to clear that up.)
So if you’re in the city of Philadelphia that weekend, stop by for a drink. As long as you ask for a bottled beer or a one mixer/one alcohol drink (i.e. vodka tonic, rum and coke, etc), we’ll be fine. Ask for something complicated and we’re going to have some problems. Serious, serious problems.
2) I know you’ve heard this before, so much so that I’m loathe to say it, but the "monthly" email is going out next week. Seriously. Site Guy Brendan has it and I have no further changes, so it’s all up to him (no pressure there, Brendan). It’s about blowjobs. It’s very long, so I apologize for that, but it’s an ideal read on the can. If you haven’t signed up, do so on the right. And if you like the email, pass it on. There will be one next month, too. I know you don’t believe me, but watch.
3) Finally, an important update regarding my book.
(Shhhh – everyone listen up.)
I told you guys that the book was to be released this fall and as you may have noticed, it’s already November – and not a peep about the book. This is because the book will not be released in the fall. As a matter of fact, I can’t tell you when exactly it will be released, except to say that it will definitely be released at some point. That, I can promise you.
The fact that it won’t be released this fall is good and bad news. Bad because, my god, I want this thing out already. I want a book tour and sex with strange women in strange cities. I want a book release party with free drinks. I want to grow my hair and beard to hippy length, smoke very long cigarettes, wear purple robes and say amazingly deep things, like, "There is love, and there is nothing; it is humankind’s greatest responsibility to make the correct choice", as people lying around me ohh and ahh and rub my private parts.
But it’s good because, believe it or not, it’s only making the book better. It’s a complicated situation that I can’t really get into, but despite the delay, I’ve been very happy with how everything has worked out and continues to work out, and pleased with the reactions and advice that everyone in this process has given me. I know that sounds like a bland, general, and legally-approved statement, but I hope you believe me when I say that I wouldn’t write that if it weren’t true. I’m happy. Maybe a little impatient, but happy.
I will continue to try to update you on the progress of the book, but the best thing you can do is…sign up for the email list. That’ll get you the blowjob email and any further book announcements as they become available. As I said before, your email will not be sold or otherwise tampered with, mostly because Site Guy Brendan and I don’t know how to do that. If we did, you’d be in trouble. Serious, serious trouble.
