‘nother res, afrin danger, vote, h is o, bets, music
11 January 2008
One other small resolution that I forgot to mention earlier in the week, possibly because I was embarrassed: in 2008 I resolve to stop watching BBC World News at the gym in the hopes of impressing women nearby. Though I like and even tivo BBC World News, I readily admit that I’d much rather be watching Sportscenter while at the gym but continue to put on the BBC News every time I run on the treadmill. I don’t exactly know why I do this, but I think it has something to do with hoping that the girl running next to me or a girl walking by will be so impressed with how sophisticated and intelligent I am that she will, pardon my language, do me.
But I am starting to realize that women at the gym are not so much impressed by what a the guy on the treadmill is watching. In fact, I think women at the gym are more impressed with a guy who doesn’t start spitting up blood three minutes into "running" on the treadmill. Thus the resolution: No more BBC World News at the gym. Just stop with the spitting up of the blood.
(Again, luck needed, so please wish me it.)
************
I really want to put the whole Hot Whopper thing to bed, but I thought this email, which had the subject line "Afrin overuse = cancer," was worth posting:
Wouldn’t sing this shit’s phrases very much. My dad got addicted to the stuff to keep his nose open. Seems the more you use it, the more you need to use it because of the swelling it causes with overuse. He developed cancer in his nose as a result. Non malignant thank God.
So, um, use Afrin only as directed. And remember, I am not a doctor. Thank you.
************
Do me a solid: check out and vote for my friend Bryan’s video (his name is Bryan Master and his song’s called "Moments Like This (Don’t Come Along For People Like Us)" – the one on the top right). Good guy, good song, and good reason – a record contract at stake - to take fifteen seconds out of your day to vote. Thank you in advance for your help (and if you pass it on to your friends, double thanks and a firm, clammy handshake from yours truly).
************
This article from the NY Times is about the music people listen to while working out, and how important music scientifically can be to working out. It also has probably the most unintentionally (or intentionally, for that matter) funny lines I’ve ever read in the NY Times:
"For a high-intensity workout like a hard run, [Dr. Karageorghis, an associate professor of sport psychology who has studied the effects of music on physical performance for 20 years] suggested Glenn Frey’s "The Heat Is On.’"
Yes, that’s right – the good doctor suggests "The H is O" to really get the heart pumping during a run. Wow. This guy has a PhD in sports psychology and recommends arguably the worst song of the 1980’s – and subject to one of the best SNL skits ever – in an article in one of top five most circulated papers on earth. Good lord. "The Heat Is On?" Really? This guy didn’t have any "hip" friends he could’ve run that choice by prior to the article being published?
I don’t even know if we need a Six Songs section. "The H is O" is really all you need.
************
Bets (Formerly Six, Now Four)
Seattle (+7.5) over GREEN BAY
I think Seattle stinks on the road. I think Green Bay wins this game. But I think Seattle covers.
NEW ENGLAND (-13.5) over Jacksonville
If I have to read one more story about how Jacksonville is the worst match up for the Patriots and about how tough they are, I might throw up. David Garrad on the road vs. Tom Brady at home. The Pats win and win big.
INDIANAPOLIS (-9) over San Diego
Gamblers seem pretty split on this one, going slightly in favor of Indy (52% to 48%). I watched the SD game last week (I actually watched all the games, missing only a quarter of NYG-TB) and I don’t really see it. In the understatement of 2008 so far, Indy, at home, is tough.
DALLAS (-7.5) over New York Giants
The homepage of si.com right now has a picture of Tony Romo being sacked by some Giants under the headline "Recipe For Disaster." I mean, how could you not pick the Cowboys after that?
Playoff Record: 3-1
Regular Season Record: Go Fuck Yourself
************
Six Songs
"Live And Learn" The Cardigans
I have little doubt that this song would be perfect for some sort of chick flick featuring a young girl in her early 20’s coming of age. Just as she’s acing her studies at her prestigious New England college and preparing to apply to med school, her parents are suddenly killed in a tragic accident and she must leave school to care for her two younger siblings. Leaving her boyfriend, friends and the intellectual community behind, she returns to the Midwest to be with her family and examines the fractious relationship she had with her mother, whom she only sought to please, and while caring for her brother and sister and reconnecting with her past – that same past she tried to escape my burying herself in her studies - she learns about what love and happiness is in the process. We’ll call it "Brooksville," named after the girl’s small Midwestern hometown, and the tag line will be "Sometimes What You’re Looking For Is Right Where You Left It."
There’s your movie. I’ll take my $50,000 development fee in small bills and/or hoagies, thank you.
"You’ve Been Loved" Joseph Arthur
Beautiful, little, older Joseph Arthur song. I always listened to this song and assumed it was a love song, since it’s so damn pretty and repeats "You’ve been loved" over and over again, but I looked at the lyrics online and…um…I don’t think it’s a love song ("It’s always hard to admit/Most days you feel like you don’t exist/Temptation sneaks past your fists/Until the devil won’t let you resist" – yikes).
"Walk" Pantera
Major gym song. I actually get a little afraid when this song comes on my iPod at the gym, because it pushes me into overdrive and is over five minutes long, which is too long for me to maintain any sort of frenzied pace; two minutes, I could do, but not five. If you read about me having a heart attack on the treadmill at the gym, this is the song that’ll do it.
"Don’t Feel Right" The Roots
Another major gym song. Listening to that bass drum makes me want to by a drum set. And also be a better dancer. I should probably just focus on the drum set.
"Underwater" Tegan and Sara
I’ll tell you, I really have to be in the mood for Teagan and Sarah. There are times when a song of theirs will randomly come on my iPod and I’ll immediately change it, possibly even with an utterance of disgust. But when I’m in the mood for their special brand of girl pop-rock…I mean, look out. This song came on my iPod yesterday and I actually started singing along in my office and listened to it about eight times in a row. Right now, I think it’s a wonderful little song ("I would go to jail with only boys just to prove I was as tough as you"); two days from now, I might think it’s garbage.
(Well, maybe not "garbage" – that’s a little strong. But you get what I mean.)
"The Way You Make Me Feel" Michael Jackson
Sometimes I think that if I got rich, I would spend all my time and energy making and starring in parodies of music videos. This would be undoubtedly, unequivocally, be the first one on my list.
[youtube]gafREioIYn8[/youtube]
I mean, the intro alone makes me pee my pants a little bit - I would look great in the purple shirt, white undershirt, and white belt – not to mention the whole "gang rape" feel of the first half of the video and the "breakdown" scene with the fireplug in the backdrop, punctuated by not-so-masculine screams…they should subtitle this video "Seven Minutes of Heaven."
God, I miss Michael Jackson.
[Have a good weekend]
But I am starting to realize that women at the gym are not so much impressed by what a the guy on the treadmill is watching. In fact, I think women at the gym are more impressed with a guy who doesn’t start spitting up blood three minutes into "running" on the treadmill. Thus the resolution: No more BBC World News at the gym. Just stop with the spitting up of the blood.
(Again, luck needed, so please wish me it.)
************
I really want to put the whole Hot Whopper thing to bed, but I thought this email, which had the subject line "Afrin overuse = cancer," was worth posting:
Wouldn’t sing this shit’s phrases very much. My dad got addicted to the stuff to keep his nose open. Seems the more you use it, the more you need to use it because of the swelling it causes with overuse. He developed cancer in his nose as a result. Non malignant thank God.
So, um, use Afrin only as directed. And remember, I am not a doctor. Thank you.
************
Do me a solid: check out and vote for my friend Bryan’s video (his name is Bryan Master and his song’s called "Moments Like This (Don’t Come Along For People Like Us)" – the one on the top right). Good guy, good song, and good reason – a record contract at stake - to take fifteen seconds out of your day to vote. Thank you in advance for your help (and if you pass it on to your friends, double thanks and a firm, clammy handshake from yours truly).
************
This article from the NY Times is about the music people listen to while working out, and how important music scientifically can be to working out. It also has probably the most unintentionally (or intentionally, for that matter) funny lines I’ve ever read in the NY Times:
"For a high-intensity workout like a hard run, [Dr. Karageorghis, an associate professor of sport psychology who has studied the effects of music on physical performance for 20 years] suggested Glenn Frey’s "The Heat Is On.’"
Yes, that’s right – the good doctor suggests "The H is O" to really get the heart pumping during a run. Wow. This guy has a PhD in sports psychology and recommends arguably the worst song of the 1980’s – and subject to one of the best SNL skits ever – in an article in one of top five most circulated papers on earth. Good lord. "The Heat Is On?" Really? This guy didn’t have any "hip" friends he could’ve run that choice by prior to the article being published?
I don’t even know if we need a Six Songs section. "The H is O" is really all you need.
************
Bets (Formerly Six, Now Four)
Seattle (+7.5) over GREEN BAY
I think Seattle stinks on the road. I think Green Bay wins this game. But I think Seattle covers.
NEW ENGLAND (-13.5) over Jacksonville
If I have to read one more story about how Jacksonville is the worst match up for the Patriots and about how tough they are, I might throw up. David Garrad on the road vs. Tom Brady at home. The Pats win and win big.
INDIANAPOLIS (-9) over San Diego
Gamblers seem pretty split on this one, going slightly in favor of Indy (52% to 48%). I watched the SD game last week (I actually watched all the games, missing only a quarter of NYG-TB) and I don’t really see it. In the understatement of 2008 so far, Indy, at home, is tough.
DALLAS (-7.5) over New York Giants
The homepage of si.com right now has a picture of Tony Romo being sacked by some Giants under the headline "Recipe For Disaster." I mean, how could you not pick the Cowboys after that?
Playoff Record: 3-1
Regular Season Record: Go Fuck Yourself
************
Six Songs
"Live And Learn" The Cardigans
I have little doubt that this song would be perfect for some sort of chick flick featuring a young girl in her early 20’s coming of age. Just as she’s acing her studies at her prestigious New England college and preparing to apply to med school, her parents are suddenly killed in a tragic accident and she must leave school to care for her two younger siblings. Leaving her boyfriend, friends and the intellectual community behind, she returns to the Midwest to be with her family and examines the fractious relationship she had with her mother, whom she only sought to please, and while caring for her brother and sister and reconnecting with her past – that same past she tried to escape my burying herself in her studies - she learns about what love and happiness is in the process. We’ll call it "Brooksville," named after the girl’s small Midwestern hometown, and the tag line will be "Sometimes What You’re Looking For Is Right Where You Left It."
There’s your movie. I’ll take my $50,000 development fee in small bills and/or hoagies, thank you.
"You’ve Been Loved" Joseph Arthur
Beautiful, little, older Joseph Arthur song. I always listened to this song and assumed it was a love song, since it’s so damn pretty and repeats "You’ve been loved" over and over again, but I looked at the lyrics online and…um…I don’t think it’s a love song ("It’s always hard to admit/Most days you feel like you don’t exist/Temptation sneaks past your fists/Until the devil won’t let you resist" – yikes).
"Walk" Pantera
Major gym song. I actually get a little afraid when this song comes on my iPod at the gym, because it pushes me into overdrive and is over five minutes long, which is too long for me to maintain any sort of frenzied pace; two minutes, I could do, but not five. If you read about me having a heart attack on the treadmill at the gym, this is the song that’ll do it.
"Don’t Feel Right" The Roots
Another major gym song. Listening to that bass drum makes me want to by a drum set. And also be a better dancer. I should probably just focus on the drum set.
"Underwater" Tegan and Sara
I’ll tell you, I really have to be in the mood for Teagan and Sarah. There are times when a song of theirs will randomly come on my iPod and I’ll immediately change it, possibly even with an utterance of disgust. But when I’m in the mood for their special brand of girl pop-rock…I mean, look out. This song came on my iPod yesterday and I actually started singing along in my office and listened to it about eight times in a row. Right now, I think it’s a wonderful little song ("I would go to jail with only boys just to prove I was as tough as you"); two days from now, I might think it’s garbage.
(Well, maybe not "garbage" – that’s a little strong. But you get what I mean.)
"The Way You Make Me Feel" Michael Jackson
Sometimes I think that if I got rich, I would spend all my time and energy making and starring in parodies of music videos. This would be undoubtedly, unequivocally, be the first one on my list.
[youtube]gafREioIYn8[/youtube]
I mean, the intro alone makes me pee my pants a little bit - I would look great in the purple shirt, white undershirt, and white belt – not to mention the whole "gang rape" feel of the first half of the video and the "breakdown" scene with the fireplug in the backdrop, punctuated by not-so-masculine screams…they should subtitle this video "Seven Minutes of Heaven."
God, I miss Michael Jackson.
[Have a good weekend]
