Thank you one and all for the NYC steak place recommendations.  While I’m surprised that so many of you suggested places that I explicitly asked you not to suggest (I mean, did you not read the whole post?), all told I must have gotten 15-20 different places recommended to me.  What was interesting was that two places got by far more votes than the others – Del Frisco’s and Ben Benson’s and (Keen’s would be a distant third, I think).

So it’s going to be one of those two.  I sent the links to the menus to my sister, who will show my dad for final determination.  It’s hard for me to make the call, because my dad doesn’t eat seafood, salad or chicken, so this can drastically limit the options.  Not only that, he only eats filet mignon and only well done, so places like Keen’s or Luger’s where you share a porterhouse would not work.  Finally, I’m trying not to eat at chains that have franchises in Philly, like Morton’s or Ruth’s Chris or the like.  God, I’m impossible.  

But either way, I appreciate you taking the time to drop me a line and help a brother out.  If you need anything, feel free to call in that favor.  As long as nothing physical is involved, I’m your man.

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Actually, since you guys were so helpful about steaks, for my guitarist friends, a question.

(If you don’t play guitar, you can skip this part.  Seriously.  Nothing to see here.)

I am trying to learn to play slide guitar.  Specifically, I’ve been rocking out pretty hard to the White Stripe’s "Death Letter," a song which is actually easy to play (once you get the tuning right) and sounds mighty, mighty impressive.  But the slide parts are giving me problems – not technically, since I know how to play them, but, um, sonically.

So my question is: what’s the best way to get that nasty distorted sound of my guitar when using a slide?  The distortion on the other parts sounds good, but when I start to use the slide, it sounds messy, too jangly, and not tight enough.  I understand this may be the fault of my guitar, which is a Fender "50′s Style" Strat that I bought fifteen years ago.  I got it because its got a nice, deep clean tone that reminded me of "Little Wing," (I was extremely obsessed with Jimi Hendrix at the time) but played clean it sounds more like the intro to "I Only Have Eyes For You."  Translation: It’s not exactly a shredder.   

Is there are way to balance the equalizer (i.e. drop my mids) or play in a different pickup position (I currently play in the fourth position, second from top)?  Should I use a glass or metal slide (now I’m using metal)?  Or should I change my strings (I use .10 Elixirs, so they’re pretty light)?  Or is it just not gonna sound that good with my guitar?  Or am I playing it wrong?

Anyway, any help you could offer would be appreciated.  I apologize if I got any technical stuff wrong – I’ve never taken a lesson and haven’t hung out with other (electric) guitarists since college, so what very little guitar tech stuff I knew has been forgotten and/or replaced by onion rings.  Thank you in advance for your input.

(See?  I told you you shouldn’t have read that unless you play guitar.  Next time, listen to me.  I’m only looking out for you.)

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The Heath Ledger toxicology report came out last week and the findings were that he died of an accidental overdose after taking the pills because he was feeling ill and unable to sleep.  Poor guy.  Specifically, he had the following drugs in his system: oxycodone, hydrocodone, diazepam, temazepam, alprazolam, and doxylamine.

Hmmm.  Uncle Jason thinks some of those sound familiar.

Let’s see: oxycodone is Oxycotin.  Check.  Hydrocodone and diazepam are more commonly known as Valium.  Check two.  I didn’t know what temazepam was, but apparently it’s a sleep drug.  Alprazolam is dear to my heart, but I know it as Xanax.  Finally, I was also unsure about doxylamine, but it’s another sleep drug and is one of the active ingredients in Nyquil.

So if you’re keeping score at home, that’s an accidental overdose on Oxycotin, two kinds of Valium, two sleep drugs and Xanax.  As someone familiar with this type of thing – you know, insomnia and feeling sick – I find it pretty difficult to believe that one could "accidentally" ingest this many narcotics if they’re simply tired or feeling sick.  Though there was no indication of the amount of these drugs in his system, this cocktail, which we will call "The Heath," is some serious, serious shit.  Again, Uncle Jason is pretty knowledgable about, um, insomnia and sickness, and a lil’ bit of Nyquil and a few glasses of wine is enough to put him out of commission for a good ten hours.  Any one of Oxy, Valium or Xanax plus a sleep aid like Ambein or Nyquil could confuse a small elephant for up to six hours.  All three of those plus two sleep aids…well, that elephant isn’t going to be eating peanuts any time soon.  And by that I mean, ever.  Because he’s dead.  Real dead.            

I don’t mean to speak ill of the dead, but if you take The Heath, remove the Oxys, and throw in a hooker, some rosary beads and a bottle of Tequila, you’ve got The Chris Farley.  There is a saying in my neighborhood in South Philly.  When someone dies young on Second Street, my Irish neighborhood, it’s because they either had an "aneurysm" or a "heart attack."  When someone dies young up 30th Street, the other Irish neighborhood in South Philly but the one you’re more likely to hear about on Action News with the words "Stabbing" or "Shooting" or "Drug Ring" involved, they die of an overdose.

At least they’re not saying Heath Ledger died of an aneurysm.

[Author's Note: Since this post was put up, numerous readers/jerks have pointed out that hydrocodone is not Valium, but rather closer to Vicodin.  My bad.  I told you I only had experience in insomnia and feeling sick.  Either way, the point stays the same.]

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Norman Mailer is one of my favorite writers.  But sometimes, as someone who himself is "trying" (read: owns a computer) to be a "writer" (read: writes fat jokes on his internet diary), he can be…not very inspiring.

However, what I find uninspiring most would be moved by: Mailer’s incredible talent for writing.  Whenever I read his stuff, I find myself constantly discouraged.  Numerous times while reading one of his books I’ll read a particularly awesome passage, put down the book, and rub my forehead, sigh, and say, "Jesus Christ."  Perhaps an example about how much Norman Mailer is better than me would help.

How Mailer writes it (from An American Dream):

She was a handsome woman, Deborah, she was big.  With high heels she stood at least an inch over me.  She had a huge mass of black hair and striking green eyes sufficiently arrogant and upon occasion sufficiently amused to belong to a queen.  She had a large Irish nose and a wide mouth which took many shapes, but her complexion was her claim to beauty, for the skin was cream-white and her cheeks were colored with a fine rose, centuries of Irish mist had produced that complexion.  It was her voice however which seduced one first. Her face was large and all-but-honest; her voice was a masterwork of treachery.  Clear as a bell, yet slithery with innuendo, it leaped like a deer, slipped like a snake.  She could not utter a sentence for giving a tinkle of value to some innocent word.  It may have been the voice of a woman you would not trust for an instant, but I did not know if I could forget it.

How I would write it:

She was pretty good-looking, real Irish-like.  Her voice was something else.  It was nuts.

I should probably stop reading Norman Mailer for a little while.   

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Six Songs

"Break My Own Heart"  Reckless Kelly
Terrific ditty from a genre that Matt in Denver introduced me to called y’allternative, which is exactly what it sounds like.  Even though some of the lyrics of this song take place in NYC, it still makes me want to be Southern.  I really think I need to spend a year being Southern.  I think I could pull this off.    

"Carry the Zero"  Built to Spill
I said it before, but if I had discovered these guys in high school, my head would have exploded.  "I can’t be your apologist very long."  Yikes.  That line is perfect, for me.

"Dancefloors"  My Morning Jacket
I guess these guys are kinda y’allternative, but I can’t say for sure, since, to be honest, I have no fucking idea what I’m talking about.  "There ain’t nothin’ goin’ like the skin you’re showin.’"  Wow.  That line is perfect, for me. 

"Breakfast in Bed"  Dusty Springfield
What every man wants: a good mistress who asks for little in return and a good meal (in bed).  Honestly, if every man had as good a mistress as this and then got a meal out of it, there would be no war, hate or murder in the world.  Check out the song if you don’t believe me.  God, does she sound extremely fucking sexy.  Note to the ladies: If you sound like this when you sing, let’s meet.  I’m pretty much free whenever, so let me know what works for you.

(Also, a highly recommended album is "Dusty in Memphis."  I downloaded on the recommendation of a friend and it is exquisite.  It’s almost worth it for this song and "I Don’t Want To Hear It Anymore" alone.)     

"Jackie Blue"  Ozark Mountain Daredevils
Just an incredibly weird song that sounds like the 70’s and cocaine and being lovelorn.  Pretty much.

"Jealous Guy"  The Faces
By far the best music purchase I’ve made in the last five years is The Faces’ box set, "Five Guys Walk Into A Bar."  All I can say is, if you like rock, this box set will blow your fucking brains out.  That’s it.  That’s the only qualification you need to love this box set – to love, or even like, rock.  Seriously.  I cannot recommend it enough.

This song is especially wonderful.  Sure, John Lennon wrote "Jealous Guy" and it was magical, the Song of Apology, what with his pained yet delicate vocal, his dainty piano and swathes of strings.  It’s a beautiful song, it really is.  But this song, about being sorry about being a jealous guy, was obviously written about Yoko Ono, since everything from this point in his career was written about Yoko Ono.  And with all due respect, John, you had nothing to be jealous about with Yoko.  No one is hitting on Yoko, or was when you were alive and with her.  I mean, I’m sure she’s a great artist or whatever the hell it is she does, but c’mon – I don’t exactly want to jump in that bed. 

So when I think about it, despite how beautiful the song is, I just can’t buy John feeling sorry for being jealous about Yoko Ono.  For who?  For what?  It’s literally incredible.  It’d be like me writing a song titled, "Titties – I Could Take Them Or Leave Them."  No chance.

But on the other hand, this cover, done by the greatest bar band in the world, reeks of jealously, Scotch and regret.  When Rod sings on this live in-studio cut, you can hear the remorse in his voice as much as you can smell the whiskey on his breath.  I’d have to look this up to be positive, but I’m sure this track was cut after a particularly nasty row between Rod and whatever 10 he picked up two weeks ago after a concert and has been spending every moment with since, a really mollywhopper caused by the 10 talking to a guy after one of Rod’s shows, in which Rod was tanked off his face and called her a "cunt" and Ronnie Lane calm him down and say "What you say, Rod – I think that’s about enough, ain’t it? " while the 10 stormed away crying and Rod threw his Macallan Single Malt 30 Year after her. 

Two hours after this was recorded, Rod and the 10 were back together again, and they’d spend the next three days fucking and drinking non-stop.  They’d break up four days later and never see each other again.  But in these six minutes, Rod was really truly sorry about being a jealous guy.  This much, I can believe.      

[Have a good weekend.]