(You can hear some of these songs on mixwit, but mixwit really let me down this time ’round and I wasn’t able to locate and add some of these to the playlist. Sorry.)

“Problem Child” AC/DC
Another kick-ass AC/DC song that I’ve discovered lately. I swear, I feel like a teenager. My buddy (not Site Guy) Brendan has been extolling the virtues of AC/DC pretty much since I’ve known him, and I’ve always brushed him and the band off – sure, as a red-blooded, beer-swilling, tit-loving American male, I love “Shook Me All Night Long” and “Thunderstruck” and the like just as much as the next guy. But I never thought of these guys are “real” rock, but rather almost like (but not quite as bad as) Aerosmith. Then I recently was reading a book about Guns N’ Roses (which should tell you all you need to know about how my level of intellect has dipped since moving to LA) and read that in their early days, they used to cover a song called “Whole Lotta Rosie.” I downloaded this song – since I am still spending at least 2.5 hours a day in the car and you guys haven’t been recommending too much new music to me – and was bloooooown away. “Whole Lotta Rosie” is just about the hardest-rocking song I’ve heard.

And then there’s this one. If there’s an award for “Best Opening Line of a Song,” may I humbly submit the following Bon Scott nugget: “I am hot/And when I’m not/I’m cold as ice.” After the first solo, the chorus comes back with a shaker in the background and Bon screams, “Just watch your step!” I don’t think I’ve ever been closer to rapture than I was when I first heard this song. This whole AC/DC epiphany for me is on par with discovery Led Zeppelin at 11, Jimi Hendrix at 12 and Elvis Costello at 16; I thought that this level of musical phanaticism was reserved only for youth. Guess I was wrong.

“Hammond Song” The Roches
Can something be at once creepy and soothing? This song has to be as close as possible, especially when you realize all three members of this group are sisters, even the one with the extremely deep voice. Just three sisters, one with a really deep voice, singing in harmony over acoustic guitar and minimal other sounds/effects. I don’t know if it makes me want to fall asleep or go batshit crazy and throw an unopened can of Diet Dr. Pepper through my office window.

“Blue” The Jayhawks
Similarly, just two dudes singing about how sad they are, and possibly asking each other to “stay behind.” Um, where do I sign up?

“Valentine’s Day Is Over” Billy Bragg
Incredibly depressing song, founding member of “Sad as Fuck” playlist.

“I Beg Your Pardon” Tom Waits
This song reminds me of New York. It also reminds me of cold weather; I want to sit somewhere high up in December and look out at the frozen city from across the East River and drink this. In a related story, it only took me about 28 years, but I think I like Tom Waits.

“Fashion Coat” The National
When they make the movie about my life, they’ll explore three central themes: my relationship with my dad (him as Real Man, me as mezzofinook); my unquenchable thirst for success juxtaposed with my unwillingness to do any real, actual work to make it happen; and my near-constant involvement in complicated, long-distance relationships. Toward the end of the movie, my character, played by whoever Meatloaf’s son is, will say at the end of an argument to his long-distance girlfriend, played by (hopefully) Zooey Deschanel or (more realistically) Nikki Blonksy, “Everywhere I am – it’s just another thing without you in it.” Then my character, again portrayed wonderfully and faithfully by Meatloaf’s son, will walk out of the door without saying a word. Then the next scene will be a shot of a hotel engulfed in flames and firefighters fighting to contain the blaze, and then a voiceover from a 1010 WINS saying, “Sad news tonight from Leeds, England – a massive hotel fire has claimed the the lives of 13 people, included among them author, raconteur and cad, Jason Mulgrew. Mulgrew was in Leeds reportedly to buy cocaine and authorities believe he may have started the fire while creating a tuna melt, but this has not been confirmed. Repeat: Jason Mulgrew, author, raconteur and cad, is dead.” Then there will be this picture with the caption, “Dedicated to the Memory of our Sometime Friend, Jason Mulgrew: 1979 – 2011.” Then “Hammond Song” will play over the end credits.

Let’s start the bidding now. I can start on the screenplay this weekend – I have some free time.

[Have a good weekend.]