Well, that was fun.

I’m going to be magnanimous here and not gloat. Believe me, I had every intention to do just that – to talk about how my faith in this country and in the citizens of this country has been restored by a good ol’ fashioned ass-whuppin’ (349 electoral votes to just 163, when the previous two elections went 286-252 and 271-266), or about how fans of Larry the Cable Guy and trucks with hemis are having a rough day while fans of racial tolerance and bachelors degrees from accredited four-year colleges are very happy, or whatnot.

But no – I’m not going to do it. This is mostly because I was so surprised by the vitriol spewed from McCain followers via Facebook status, so much so that I decided that I should not stoop to that level. However, just for fun, three of my favorite status updates of (I presume) McCain supporters/Obama haters that I saw either during the election or immediately after were:

- “_____ is disgusted at the college liberal fucks who are voting for obama….letting homo’s, poor ppl, and scumbags run wild….wake up hippies”

- “_____ is waiting for someone to go John Wilkes Booth/Lee Harvey Oswald on Obama”

- “_____ is sad for all the beautiful babies who will be murdered before they have a chance to make it out of their mommy’s tummies”

I mean, yikes. It’s worth noting that all three of these people are college graduates, and all three were immediately de-friended.

Anyway, it goes without saying that this is a great day for America. And – at the risk of being called a cop out – that’s all I’ll say about that. To the point: I’m sick as shit and have been pretty much wiped out the past two days. First, I have such a bad case of athlete’s foot that both my feet are wrapped in gauze (one foot has it much worse than the other). I have only myself to blame; I’ve had some form of athlete’s foot since July, but now it’s out of control. When I was hanging out with my doctor buddy last week, I showed him the foot and he responded with a sincere, heartfelt “Oh my god.” A few days later, my sister nurse asked me to never show my foot to her again, saying it looked more like a burn than athlete’s foot. So there’s that. Secondly, because of my neglect of the athlete’s foot, I’ve developed some sort of rash in several parts of my body, including my chest, neck, armpits, arms, hands and face (especially around my eyes). No idea what that’s about, but I’m guessing I’m not getting laid anytime soon with little red bumps on my arms and hands and what appears to be birthmarks developing in splotches all over my face. And lastly, I have a head cold. This is by far the least problematic of my three ailments, except in the morning. Invariably at some point during my morning one hour twenty minute commute, I will work up a loogie the size of my thumb, attempt to spit it out my window while the car is moving, and fail miserably, resulting in said loogie either flying back and hitting me on the shoulder or missing the window completely and landing on the inside of the car door. Not the best part of starting the day.

(By the way, this is the first time in my entire life that I’ve written the word “loogie” and had to google it to get the spelling right. Apparently, there are two camps: loogie and lugee. Didn’t think I’d learn that when I woke up this morning.)

So as much as I’d like to rise to the occasion and write something about a watershed moment in American history or dawn of a new era or “yes we can” – or even rant about the lunacy about Prop 8 passing here in California – Uncle Jason just does not have his good stuff right now. Maybe tomorrow, maybe the next day, but for right now, I’ve got to get back to limping and scratching and spitting. But even though I’ll continue to be disgusting, like most of you I am now and will continue to bask in that warm glowing warming glow, knowing that for once, we got it right. We got it right, folks.

Now comes the hard part.