I was recently interviewed by Glamour.com. You can find the interview here.

Because I tend to ramble, two questions (and some of my answers) were edited for length. Also, I was told the KKK reference below would not fly, but would not compromise my artistic integrity. The questions that were left out are below.

(More later)

Do you have any gripes about women wearing makeup (i.e. you end up with lipstick all over your mouth, mascara on your pillow on overnight dates, etc.)?
If I’m ending up with lipstick all over my mouth or mascara all over my pillow and I’m complaining, you officially have permission to punch me in the face. “Man, this girl’s make up ruined my pillowcase!” is right up there with “No, I don’t want extra cheese” or “I would prefer if we slept together for the first time while we were sober” on the list of things I’ve never said in my life.

Who do you think are the top three most beautiful women in the world?
Good question. First, you have to understand something: Adriana Lima is pretty much the hottest thing that God has ever made. I mean, it’s not even really that close. But while she’s tremendously hot, I look at her and I think, “What the hell would I talk to Adriana Lima about?” Again, she’s unbelievably hot, but after we’ve touched upon “So, you’re from Brazil, right?” and “So, you’re a model, huh?”, I mean, that’s about all I’d have.

So “beautiful” to me is the whole package. Looks are, of course, tremendously important to someone as shallow as me, but there are other intangibles in there as well. So here goes three I’m digging at the moment:

- Alana de la Garza: Actually, you know what? Forget everything I said about “intangibles” before. Alana de la Garza could openly be the Grand Wizard of the Louisiana chapter of the KKK and I’d still want to marry her. Good lord. It’s getting to the point that I can’t watch Law & Order anymore, as I’m afraid of what might happen.

- Jenny Lewis: Goodness gracious. I could be watching a gastric bypass surgery being performed and if “The Frug” came on, I would get an erection and, most likely, collapse. I’m getting dizzy just thinking about Jenny right now.

- Minka Kelly: I’m sort of down on her now that’s she’s become the latest member of Derek Jeter’s rogue’s gallery – I mean, the Yankees didn’t even make the playoffs, Minka – but there’s no denying she’s something special. Also I once had brunch at a table next to her dad, who used to play guitar In Aerosmith. True story.

Wait, I need a fourth, a wild card:

- Cia Leigh Cherryholmes: A family-oriented country girl who plays the banjo like a rascal and has a voice as clear as a bell – a gorgeous, extremely appealing bell that I would like to kiss as soon as possible. Hearing her sing makes me want to spend the holidays in the Smokey Mountains eating pumpkin pie in flannel pajamas. With her, I mean. Although alone might also be ok. Whatever, really.