Before we get to a more comprehensive recap of my “vacation” last week, two things I didn’t want buried in a larger post.

From the “Ol’ Judgemental Me” File:

I got bumped up to first class on my flight out of LAX the Thursday before last, which meant that I got to go through Successful People security. This didn’t matter too much; I left LAX in the middle of a Thursday afternoon, so the airport was almost completely empty.

As I was standing in line, waiting to go through the metal detector and feeling full of myself and proud of my accomplishments (when really anybody can get bumped up if they give Delta buckets of money every year like I do), I noticed out of the corner of my eye the gentleman behind me in the security line, who was short and was wearing pink sunglasses. I turned away from him, now looking straight ahead, and thought to myself, “Who the hell is this short douchebag wearing pink fucking sunglasses in the middle of the airport?” He then answered his cell phone and had an accent, so, my curiosity piqued, I turned to get a better look at the d-bag.

The douchebag was Bono.

So yeah, Bono can probably wear pink sunglasses in the middle of the airport. I don’t have a problem with that. Sorry about that, Bono. Carry on.

**************

From the “Only in South Philly” File:

After complaining about needing something to read while alone and reflective down the shore, an NYC friend recommended a book to me (something by Bill Bryson, who I think is eminently readable). But alas, I didn’t have time to get said book in NYC, since I had a train to catch to Philly.

I got to my dad’s house late that night and the next morning, woke up determined to get the book. However, seeing as I haven’t lived in my neighborhood since 1997, I didn’t know of any bookstores around. So I went online to Yahoo yellow pages, entered my zip and searched for “books.” There was only one hit in 19148, a zip code that encompasses a large part of South Philly, including my Second Street neighborhood, and is home to over 48,000 people.

The one bookstore hit was Show & Tel Adult Center and Bookstore.

The lone bookstore for 48,000 (!) people in South Philly, in the neighborhood in which I – and the rest of my giant family – was born and raised, is also a strip club and sells dildos.

I honestly don’t even have a joke here. So I’m just gonna stop.