just misc (and music)
1) Sorry for the lack of posting this week. Ol’ Uncle Jason is trying to get back into the routine of writing at twice a week, but sometimes, stuff happens. Between work exploding, me moving, and fantasy baseball research kicking into high gear, it was a busy week.
[By the way, a) nothing gets me harder than when you guys email me about when my fantasy baseball preview is coming out and b) I am going to blow your fucking minds with said fantasy baseball preview. Good lord. I can't remember the last time I worked so hard or so diligently on something, but I'm guessing it had to do with unscrambling the porn channel as a 13 year old to catch a glimpse of a nipple.]
2) Still holding on to some of those Amazon or Barnes and Noble gift cards from the holidays? Might I suggest Rejected: Tales of the Failed, Dumped, and Canceled? For those of you not in the know, The Rejection Show is a staple of the NYC comedy scene. Hosted by genuine good guy (and funny guy) Jon Friedman, The Rejection Show is exactly what it sounds like – writers, comedians and other artists share some of their work that was rejected from various publications, TV shows, or people who think they’re funnier than everyone else (also, the love letters/ex-related stuff is truly awesome and many times cringe-worthy).
Anyway, now there’s a book, and I can’t recommend it enough. Of course, I haven’t read it yet – my copy should arrive Tuesday – but I’ve seen the show, I’ve loved the show, and I’ll love the book (and you will too!). And hey, for $12, it’s worth a shot, right?
3) In November, I asked if one of you could update the site header and, if you did, I’d respond in kind with a shout-out to the link of your choice. And then I stopped posting (for the most part). But as I man of my word, thank you to Tak for coming through and sending a revised banner along. Check out his site, please.
(I promise, this is all the shilling I’ll do for a few weeks)
(Probably)
4) In less than three weeks, I’m heading back to NYC for one of my favorite weekends of the year: the start of March Madness. Many beers will be consumed, as well as about five pounds of Italian meats and cheeses whilst watching the start of NCAA tourney. Not only that, I have two (yes, ladies, two!) live fantasy baseball drafts: one for my Lamps of China league on Friday night, March 20 (which we did last year in the boardroom of a hedge fund, crushing Miller Lites) and the second on Saturday, March 21, for my main league, Iron Sheik, in an as yet to be determined bar in Manhattan. These three sentences may mean very little to you, but writing them made me happier than I’ve been in months.
(And then the weekend after NYC, it’s my agent/friend/two-time lover Joel’s bachelor party in New Orleans!!! Yes, three exclamation points!!! Promise me one thing: If I don’t make it back, avenge me.)
5) Speaking of vengeance, it’s never to early to plan: the 11th Annual “Drink Until You Shit!” tour will once again take place in North Wildwood, New Jersey on Saturday, July 11 (that’s six days before my 30th birthday, if you’re keeping score at home). This year, we’ll be starting the tour at 3pm instead of our usual 7pm (or whenever), since the bars are simply too packed by 9pm or so at night. If you can make it, I will give you a long, lingering hug, with a little back rub and everything. Really, the whole nine yards. Promise.
6) Not to pat myself on the back, but last week, I ran a total of 26 miles. This is, by far, the most miles I’ve ever run in a seven day span. Of course, I celebrated most of my runs with In-n-Out or Taco Bell and sure, I am fairly certain that at least one of my knees will never work properly again, but hey, I did it. So there’s that.
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Six Songs
“I Want You To Be My Girl” Frankie Lymon and the Teenagers
I was laying in bed very drunk and very late at night one night, flipping channels, when I came upon a concert on PBS that was, more or less, doo-wop singers performing their hits – people past middle-age performing for people past middle-age, who were absolutely loving it. While drunk, it made for extremely compelling television. Where is this concert? Is it a tour or a one-off? What do both the performers and the audience members do for a living? Would I enjoy being at this concert, in a non-ironic way? Should I make a sandwich? Or would masturbating be better? What time is it? Who am I kidding – no way I can get bonerized. I’m sad. Jesus.
When this song came on, it’s not that I enjoyed it per se, but I thought it could make an absolutely rocking, balls-out, three-chords-and-an-assload-of-loud rock and roll cover. Its potential reminded me of one of my favorite albums ever, The Story of Them Featuring Van Morrison. This is Van in the mid-sixties, backed by a bunch of dirty Northern Irishmen, ripping through blues and R&B standards; a bar band with soul, purpose and balls. You don’t have this album, and I feel sorry for you.
So if anything this is a sad story – a doo-wop song that could be a rocking cover but will never be. This makes, and made, me sad. So I got a sandwich. Or masturbated. I can’t remember which – I was pretty drunk.
“Foxes Mate for Life” Born Ruffians
I feel like I shouldn’t like this song, but I do. There it is.
Thus concludes my worst review ever. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.
“Piano” The French Kicks
BIG fan of this one. Y’all know I love my catchy music. You also know that I love me some dirty music (“Dirty Hipster Stripper” is one of my favorite playlists). This song straddles that line between catchy and dirty and I couldn’t be happier. I love the driving, simple piano, the harmonies, and, the little itty bit of sexiness, which you can find if you look for it.
(Actually, it’s pretty easy to see, and kinda makes me want to F a hipster in a closet or bar bathroom. I’m sure it’ll make you feel the same. I can almost guarantee it, actually.)
“So Very Hard To Go” Lenny Williams
Changing gears entirely, you are seriously kidding yourself if you don’t think I’m driving around in the black Lincoln Town Car with the windows down, blasting this song and singing along (ok, maybe the windows are up). A staple – perhaps even, the bedrock – of the “I Am A Middle-Aged Black Man” playlist, this shizz is the jam. You just tell ‘em, Lenny, you just tell ‘em. And PS – I think we found the song I’d sing if I were on “American Idol.” I think I could really do some good work on the high notes of the line “No! I couldn’t do that girl!” after the first line of the chorus (“‘Cause I could never make you unhappy”). Promise. Just give me a shot.
“Down On The Street” The Stooges
Speaking of blasting music out of the black Town Car, when I turn this song on in my car, I’m pretty much kicking the ass of everyone within earshot. Just as last year I “discovered” AC/DC and fell so in love with them that I’m going to give my first born the middle name “Bon”, perhaps 2009 is My Year of the Stooges. This song makes me want to quit my job, leave my family and friends, and start punching things professionally. Because of various (non-life threatening) illnesses I am dealing with at the moment, I no longer know what it feels like to get an erection. But if my erection had a theme song, and my erection was more of a giant, intimidating force to be reckoned with than something to be swatted away like a fly on a bowl of oatmeal, this would be its theme song.
“Lloyd I’m Ready to Be Heartbroken” Camera Obscura
If there is one thing you should know about me, it’s that I love Scotland and the Scottish people. In all my travels, they are easily (in my opinion) the best people in the world: hard drinkers with great senses of humor who couldn’t possibly be nicer. Of course, I only visited Scotland once – nine years ago with an ex while studying abroad in London – but I fell in love with the city. If I have my druthers, I’ll be heading back in the fall, but we’ll get to that some other time.
If there are two things you should know about me, it’s that I love Scotland and the Scottish and that I fall in love very, very easily. I am pretty sure that I’ve fallen in love at least twice today already and will likely hit four before I go to bed tonight. I have written before that I’m going to marry whoever I happen to be dating when I turn 30 because really, I can marry anyone (note: this has been pushed back to 55). I would rather have love that is ephemeral but overwhelming and mentally, physically and emotionally incapacitating than the kind of love that culminates with a $40,000 party for your friends and family and drags and dips and sags with each passing year. That’s just how I roll. Call me crazy.
If there are three things that you should know about me, it’s the Scotland thing, the love thing, and how I am completely enamored by girls with pretty voices. Just as some women are suckers for Latin men or rich men or guys with Gatorade bottles for penises, my weakness, is a sweet singing voice.
So when you have an adorable, impish Scottish girl sweetly singing about her desire for love, which is so great she’s ready to have her heart broken, well, I’m on board with this. Totally.
[Have a good weekend]
