You should know that I have not been able to work today after seeing this picture. As of this writing, I can barely speak or walk, let alone work. I have completely shut it down. I mean, there is nothing going on. Simply can’t be.

I know, I know – it’s unlike me to post something so short and so seemingly random, but I had to speak up, since this is pretty much the hottest picture I’ve ever seen, or at least among the top five. And at any rate, I now have a purpose in life: do whatever it takes (within reason and abiding by the laws of the state of California) to be in the same room as this woman when she has her shirt off. I’m not gonna aim high and say I want to marry her (even though “Diora Mulgrew” has a lovely ring to it) or seduce her (seeing as my penis would vaporize from overstimulation – and, looking at it now, it seems to be partially vaporized) – I just want to be in a room, and she’s in the same room, and she has no top on. I’ll even settle for a bra still on, but otherwise, no shirt. That’s not much, folks. Really not that much.

(And I’ll save about a dozen of you emailing me – yes, I know that that’s the girl from “Wedding Crashers” who says to Owen Wilson, “So are you totally full of shit or just 50%?” I loved her then, but then there’s this and now I can barely see right now.)

Now, back to “work.”

(Holy geebus.)

(And guys who haven’t seen it yet: you’re welcome.)