In honor of the release my book, the second edition of the “life in pictures,” and all the unfortunate and embarrassing photos of childhood out there, the JasonMulgrew.com team and the good folks at HarperPerennial are joining forces to present the official “Everything Is Wrong With Me: Your Life in Pictures” contest (or EIWWMYLIP, pronounced “Eww, my lip,” for short). Here’s how it works:

1) Join the flickr group and submit your unfortunate childhood photos.

2) A SECRET COMMITTEE chaired by yours truly will then judge how bad/embarrassing/unfortunate your childhood photos are.

3) The ten best photos will be posted here on the site, along with captions provided by me, in order from “incredibly unfortunate” to “this is the worst thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”

4) All winning photos will get links to whatever page or blog they wish (free traffic, baby!).

5) The top three photos will win all sorts of goodies, including signed copies of my reasonably-acclaimed memoir, “Everything Is Wrong with Me: A Memoir of An American Childhood Gone, Well, Wrong,” which has some seriously embarrassing childhood photos.

6) The winner of the EIWWMYLIP contest (the person who submits the absolute worst photo, likely something on par with the lesbian picture in my book) will get the signed copy of my book, a boatload of some of HarperPerennial’s other finest titles, and a Polaroid of me using the restroom.*

[* I don’t think I can legally do this, but let’s discuss offline.]

The winners will be unveiled on the site in early May, so get your unfortunate and embarrassing childhood photos in now. Remember, there is nothing that can be done about how retarded you looked in the past, so you might as well just make fun of it.

Good luck and godspeed.