music
23 April 2010
Let’s get some music for the weekend, shall we?
Six Songs
“Forever” The Explorers Club
Just in time for summer, baby! The Beach Boys are either dead or old or whatnot, so instead I offer you this band. You’re probably thinking, “C’mon – how much can they really sound like the Beach Boys?” Um, a lot. Trust me. Completely enjoyable and fun.
“I Didn’t Understand” Elliott Smith
Speaking of fun, I got drunk the other night and read the autopsy report for Elliott Smith, which was a bit fuzzy about whether the stab wounds he suffered were self-inflicted or not and classified his mode of death as “undetermined” (just the report, mind you, not the photos – I’m not that creepy) (well, in this regard, at least). The medical examiner pointed to three things that were inconsistent with suicide: there were no hesitation wounds (I guess when people stab themselves, there’s a little bit of slow-down as they realize “HOLY CRAP I’M ACTUALLY DOING THIS!”), there was some evidence of defensive wounds (though this wasn’t thoroughly explored in greater detail, aside from a mentioning the few nicks or scrapes on his arms), and Elliott was stabbed through his clothing, which is not typical of suicides (I guess when people commit suicide by stabbing, they lift their shirts or take them off or whatever).
Not surprisingly, all this made me incredibly depressed, so I started listening to this song, one of Elliott’s sadder ones, and it made me even more depressed (though saying this song is one of Elliott’s sadder ones is like saying it was worse when your girlfriend fucked the entire Knicks team than when she fucked the entire Nets team – it’s all pretty rough).
The moral of this story: if it’s Friday night and you’re drinking stouts that are 9% ABV, don’t start reading autopsy reports and listening to Elliott Smith. No one’s going to win there.
(Good god, now I’ve made myself and you all depressed. Let me try to turn this around.)
“ONE” Yeasayer
I have a playlist called “Dance, Hipster, Dance!” This song is on there. Big time. There aren’t many circumstances in which I could see myself wearing glitter, but I would imagine that in any possible (entirely hypothetical) scenario, this song would be playing.
“Bittersweet Memory” Blue Merle
Because sometimes all you really need is a healthy dose of sad-indie-country.
“Honey In the Sun” Camera Obscura
I can’t prove this, but I am pretty sure that Camera Obscura had a band meeting before writing this song and said, “You know what? I think we should really knock Jason Mulgrew’s socks off with our next song – just totally blow him out of the water, really make him swoon. Thoughts?” Um, good job, guys – you nailed it.
(Really, this whole album, My Maudlin Career, is ruining my life, causing me to lust after Scottish broads who are mostly sad and melancholy but occasionally sound pretty happy and bubbly. Good thing the streets of NYC are crawling with these types of girls. Jackpot.)
“Tighten Up” The Black Keys
I know this song has been out for a few weeks now, but we here at JM.com do not claim to be on the up-and-up when it comes to the newest/hippest music. And there’s this: this song is FUCKING HOT. The last minute of it causes me instant flashes of slow-motion montages featuring things exploding, people diving while shooting guns, and barely-clad women gyrating in sexy-ass clothes.
Speaking of, well, sex, many years ago I endeavored to create a playlist called, “Dirty Hipster Stripper,” which, as the name implies, would be a collection of sexy-ass indie songs that a stripper might, well, strip to. But I eventually realized this playlist was fruitless when a former lover and I were hanging out, listening to the Black Keys (I think it was “Midnight in Her Eyes”), and she turned to me and said, “You know, if you ever wanted me to, like, dress up and dance for you to this song, I would do it.” It was then I understood that my “Dirty Hipster Stripper” playlist could just as well have been called “Pretty Much Every Black Keys Song.” Any way you cut it, great, hot song.
(Not that the girl who offered the dress-up-and-dance was a hipster; she was rather corporate.)
(Funny, I had almost completely forgotten about that whole episode until now.)
(Man, we had some good times together.)
([looking off into distance])
([sighing])
(We really did.)
([continuing to look off into distance])
([sighing again])
(I think I should go for a walk.)
[Have a good weekend.]
Six Songs
“Forever” The Explorers Club
Just in time for summer, baby! The Beach Boys are either dead or old or whatnot, so instead I offer you this band. You’re probably thinking, “C’mon – how much can they really sound like the Beach Boys?” Um, a lot. Trust me. Completely enjoyable and fun.
“I Didn’t Understand” Elliott Smith
Speaking of fun, I got drunk the other night and read the autopsy report for Elliott Smith, which was a bit fuzzy about whether the stab wounds he suffered were self-inflicted or not and classified his mode of death as “undetermined” (just the report, mind you, not the photos – I’m not that creepy) (well, in this regard, at least). The medical examiner pointed to three things that were inconsistent with suicide: there were no hesitation wounds (I guess when people stab themselves, there’s a little bit of slow-down as they realize “HOLY CRAP I’M ACTUALLY DOING THIS!”), there was some evidence of defensive wounds (though this wasn’t thoroughly explored in greater detail, aside from a mentioning the few nicks or scrapes on his arms), and Elliott was stabbed through his clothing, which is not typical of suicides (I guess when people commit suicide by stabbing, they lift their shirts or take them off or whatever).
Not surprisingly, all this made me incredibly depressed, so I started listening to this song, one of Elliott’s sadder ones, and it made me even more depressed (though saying this song is one of Elliott’s sadder ones is like saying it was worse when your girlfriend fucked the entire Knicks team than when she fucked the entire Nets team – it’s all pretty rough).
The moral of this story: if it’s Friday night and you’re drinking stouts that are 9% ABV, don’t start reading autopsy reports and listening to Elliott Smith. No one’s going to win there.
(Good god, now I’ve made myself and you all depressed. Let me try to turn this around.)
“ONE” Yeasayer
I have a playlist called “Dance, Hipster, Dance!” This song is on there. Big time. There aren’t many circumstances in which I could see myself wearing glitter, but I would imagine that in any possible (entirely hypothetical) scenario, this song would be playing.
“Bittersweet Memory” Blue Merle
Because sometimes all you really need is a healthy dose of sad-indie-country.
“Honey In the Sun” Camera Obscura
I can’t prove this, but I am pretty sure that Camera Obscura had a band meeting before writing this song and said, “You know what? I think we should really knock Jason Mulgrew’s socks off with our next song – just totally blow him out of the water, really make him swoon. Thoughts?” Um, good job, guys – you nailed it.
(Really, this whole album, My Maudlin Career, is ruining my life, causing me to lust after Scottish broads who are mostly sad and melancholy but occasionally sound pretty happy and bubbly. Good thing the streets of NYC are crawling with these types of girls. Jackpot.)
“Tighten Up” The Black Keys
I know this song has been out for a few weeks now, but we here at JM.com do not claim to be on the up-and-up when it comes to the newest/hippest music. And there’s this: this song is FUCKING HOT. The last minute of it causes me instant flashes of slow-motion montages featuring things exploding, people diving while shooting guns, and barely-clad women gyrating in sexy-ass clothes.
Speaking of, well, sex, many years ago I endeavored to create a playlist called, “Dirty Hipster Stripper,” which, as the name implies, would be a collection of sexy-ass indie songs that a stripper might, well, strip to. But I eventually realized this playlist was fruitless when a former lover and I were hanging out, listening to the Black Keys (I think it was “Midnight in Her Eyes”), and she turned to me and said, “You know, if you ever wanted me to, like, dress up and dance for you to this song, I would do it.” It was then I understood that my “Dirty Hipster Stripper” playlist could just as well have been called “Pretty Much Every Black Keys Song.” Any way you cut it, great, hot song.
(Not that the girl who offered the dress-up-and-dance was a hipster; she was rather corporate.)
(Funny, I had almost completely forgotten about that whole episode until now.)
(Man, we had some good times together.)
([looking off into distance])
([sighing])
(We really did.)
([continuing to look off into distance])
([sighing again])
(I think I should go for a walk.)
[Have a good weekend.]
