Hear ye, hear ye: the 12th Annual Flood-Mulgrew “Drink Until You Shit!” tour will take place on Saturday, July 10 in North Wildwood, NJ. We will start at 3pm at Casey’s at Third and New York and go from there, before we end our pub crawl where so many pub crawls in the greater Philadelphia area end: Wawa. As in years past, t-shirts will be available for purchase. As in years past, they’re fucking awesome.

I gotta be honest – it’s gonna be tough to top last year’s DUYS. At the time, I was living in LA and the tour was around my 30th b-day, so I convinced about ten or so friends to come down from NYC and join the tour. Thusly, we took over almost an entire floor of a beachfront motel and really ripped it up. However, this year, familiarity breeds contempt: my NYC buddies see me all the time, and so they are no longer inclined to brave the weekend shore traffic just to watch me get drunk by the beach. Also, this year’s tour is a week before my 31st birthday. Not sexy at all (both the birthday and me).

However, as the case every year, I’m still looking forward to DUYS. I mean, how often do I get the chance to get drunk with many of my oldest friends and my family, nearly all of whom are wearing a t-shirt with my name on it? Let’s just hope that this year my now-preggo sister doesn’t drink during the tour (fingers crossed!).

[Speaking of, I was home a weekend or two ago and found my dad’s pot in a coffee cup in his cupboard. He and I and my sister were then later talking about pot (though I didn’t admit to finding his stash) and though he’s aware that my sister shouldn’t drink while pregnant, he’s emphatic that yes, she absolutely can smoke pot whilst knocked up. Like, not even joking, totally thinks it’s fine. I tried to tell him that it wasn’t, and my sister, the nurse, tried as well, but to no avail. So in Dennis Mulgrew Sr.’s book, you can smoke pot while pregnant. So if you’re knocked up and in his presence and feel the urge to light up, he won’t judge.]

Not to mention that, though the regrettable subtitle to the DUYS tour is the “Quasi-Celebrity Drinking Tour,” this is the first year that we’ll have a real-live author joining the tour. Namely, me. I’m trying to tie in some promotion wherein I’ll do something special for those who bring a copy of my book on the pub crawl, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle the emotional damage when I’m walking home at the end of the night and I see a dozen or so copies of the book strewn about the streets of North Wildwood, having been dropped or lost by their drunken owners and now crushed, muddied and stepped on by all the foot traffic. That’s just not gonna be good for the ol’ ego.

Any and all are welcome to attend. If you are interested in doing so and require more information, email me at jason@jasonmulgrew.com (I was going to do the “jason_at_jasonmulgrew_dot_com” thing to reduce spam, but really, I don’t care). Though there will no longer be an official motel – last year’s headquarters, the North Wind, is all booked – I’m still looking for places for myself, since every year on this thing there’s a 50/50 chance that I piss myself while sleeping, and I really don’t want to do that to my Aunt Maureen and her lovely couch. Also, I’m sure that at least two of my NYC buddies will email me Friday at 3:48pm the weekend of the crawl and say, “Dude, are you still doing that shore pub crawl? I WANT IN!”, so I’m going to need a place to sleep.

Hope you can make it, but if you can’t, just come to a reading and buy me a beer when I’m in/near your town and we’ll call it even. If you are coming, you’d better start practicing your drinking and your shitting now.

[If you’d like to join the DUYS Facebook group, you can do so here.]