Yesterday, I spent the day drinking a liter and a half of cherry Passover wine (cost: $8) out of wine pouch while dressed in a costume, wearing face paint and dancing to a brass and drum band (I also peed outside approximately nine times). Today, I’m sitting on the couch reading over 80+ pages of documents researching different international arbitration cases.

Honestly, I’m pretty much exactly like Dexter. Save for all the hotness. And fitness. And I’m not sure whether or not Dexter prefers to masturbate with his thumb knuckle not quite in his ass but certainly around it. Otherwise, me and Dexter, we’re the same.