I’m headed to Vegas in a few days and am practically shitting myself with excitement. My buddies and I are doing three nights at an incredibly sexual-awesome two bedroom/two bath suite at the Hard Rock that’s over 1400 square feet, has a wet bar, balcony, lounge, etc. Again, practically shitting myself with excitement.

However, I’m landing at 11:15pm on Thursday night, while the rest of my buddies are arriving on Friday. I figure I’ll just eat, gamble and go to bed, and thus I didn’t need anything fancy in terms of a hotel room for the one night I’m alone. But while looking on Vegas.com, I found the room above at the Hard Rock for Thursday night for $76. Yes, $76.

I’ll be alone, and I’m terrified of prostitutes, but I have to fuck myself about 15 times in this sexy room, don’t I? (Don’t answer that, because it’s going down either way.)