Last week, Snooki’s book hit the New York Times Best-Seller list.

Yesterday, I saw that my book got a one star review (and a simple “not funny” comment) from someone who gave a four star review to Jodie Sweetin’s book (Jodie Sweetin is Stephanie Tanner, in case you don’t know).

Next week, I imagine the slutty coat check girl my local strip club will suddenly show up at my office and make a better presentation at the annual partners’ meeting than I will, and a homeless man will stop me on the street and tell me what a shitty business development manager I am – and that Boner Stabone could obviously do a much, much better job.

This is why writers drink a lot.