All the good-looking women get off the R train at 9th Street. Never fails. Every single time I take the train home, every single last pretty girl gets off at this stop. It’s almost as if the announcer says, “This is 9th Street, transfer here for the D, F and G trains. THIS IS THE LAST STOP FOR ALL THE PRETTY WOMEN; ALL THE BALLS-UGLY PEOPLE PLEASE REMAIN ON THE TRAIN. LAST STOP FOR PRETTY WOMEN, UGLY PEOPLE STAY ON THE TRAIN. This is an R train to 95th Street Bay Ridge, next stop Prospect Avenue.” And then it’s just me and the mongrels.

I never thought I’d ever be able to say something like this, especially as someone whose celebrity doppelganger is this guy, but if you’re not into the Jersey Shore/Ginzo-type, my girlfriend and I may just be the most attractive people in all of Brooklyn south of the 9th Street subway stop. I dare me to prove me wrong, and I kind of hope you can.

(PS – Good band name: “Me and the Mongrels”. It’s no Muslim Ron and the Juggernauts, but it’ll do.)