the best christmas gift ever
23 March 2011
Right before Christmas – like, the day before – my brother asked me if I wanted a Christmas gift the next day that would be “boring” or if I could wait a few weeks for something that could be pretty cool. Of course, I said I wanted the boring gift the next day, preferably right at that very moment if he had it on him. But it turns out that he and my sister (it was a joint gift) had already ordered my potentially cool present, and it would arrive in a few weeks.
The other day, I came home and found a package in my entryway. I opened it up, and found this:
This is a stuffed animal. Of me.
It took me a minute to figure it out, but then I realized: I had just gotten the best Christmas gift ever: me. Stuffed and little. Perfect.
Sure, my hairline is not quite so receding (thanks for that, guys who created this!), but otherwise the resemblance is uncanny. To wit:
I’m guessing this was a possible model for the, well, model, a picture from our annual “Drink Until You Shit” (DUYS) pub crawl in North Wildwood, NJ in July. The only difference is the t-shirts on the pub crawl says “Drink Until You Shit” on the back of them, whereas this has it on the front.
But not only that, if you turn the stuffed me around, look what he has in his hands!
In his left hand is my much-beloved Bud bomber, my drink of choice when it comes to pre-gaming (sometimes alone) for three-six hours while watching VH1 Classic (“Rock Fest” and “Metal Mania,” preferably). And in his right hand is a box of (certainly) my favorite breakfast food and (arguably) my favorite whenever food, creamed chipped beef. Sure, it’s the Stouffer’s variety, but when I’m not in the greater Philadelphia area, that’s what I roll with.
Well.
Let’s just say that I’m not even going to try to top this when buying gifts for Dennis and Megan in the future, because they win. Hands down.
[Better yet, I’m getting pretty into (read: haven’t yet started) writing my second book, and now I have this mini-me to put on my desk and watch over me and keep me in line when I want to take one of my patented quick jerk-off breaks that turn into five weeks because I put my laptop somewhere and lost it.]
But I’m glad I waited on that cool gift, even if I didn’t have a choice. And I know what I’m getting my friends and other family members come this holiday season!
(Stuffed animals of me, of course.)
The other day, I came home and found a package in my entryway. I opened it up, and found this:
This is a stuffed animal. Of me.
It took me a minute to figure it out, but then I realized: I had just gotten the best Christmas gift ever: me. Stuffed and little. Perfect.
Sure, my hairline is not quite so receding (thanks for that, guys who created this!), but otherwise the resemblance is uncanny. To wit:
I’m guessing this was a possible model for the, well, model, a picture from our annual “Drink Until You Shit” (DUYS) pub crawl in North Wildwood, NJ in July. The only difference is the t-shirts on the pub crawl says “Drink Until You Shit” on the back of them, whereas this has it on the front.
But not only that, if you turn the stuffed me around, look what he has in his hands!
In his left hand is my much-beloved Bud bomber, my drink of choice when it comes to pre-gaming (sometimes alone) for three-six hours while watching VH1 Classic (“Rock Fest” and “Metal Mania,” preferably). And in his right hand is a box of (certainly) my favorite breakfast food and (arguably) my favorite whenever food, creamed chipped beef. Sure, it’s the Stouffer’s variety, but when I’m not in the greater Philadelphia area, that’s what I roll with.
Well.
Let’s just say that I’m not even going to try to top this when buying gifts for Dennis and Megan in the future, because they win. Hands down.
[Better yet, I’m getting pretty into (read: haven’t yet started) writing my second book, and now I have this mini-me to put on my desk and watch over me and keep me in line when I want to take one of my patented quick jerk-off breaks that turn into five weeks because I put my laptop somewhere and lost it.]
But I’m glad I waited on that cool gift, even if I didn’t have a choice. And I know what I’m getting my friends and other family members come this holiday season!
(Stuffed animals of me, of course.)
